Hi Wv 

So sorry to read your post. It would have been a terribly traumatic time for you when you lost your Mum at such a young age. It’s no wonder you’ve tried to protect yourself from the pain x 

Sadly there are a fair few of us that are in the same position (including me but I was 9 years older than you when my Mum died). It is understandable how you have coped since you lost your Mum...but...maybe that isn’t sustainable. Perhaps the way you’re feeling now is your cue to act...now is the time to get some support x 

A good starting place might be your GP...they may well be able to refer you to some talking therapies that’ll likely make you feel a great deal better (and may also assist you to recall some lovely memories of you’re Mum that you can keep with you forever). Sometimes you can refer yourself to local IAPT (google that one!) services in your area too, without having to go through your GP. They can then assess you and get you the support you need - free. If you’re not sure, you can tell me the area you’re in and I’ll find this out for you (I have expert skills in this area! well, not really but I do look them up a lot for work). Also, this forum is a great place to be and so I hope you hang around. It’s good to come here to just write down feelings and thoughts. 

Relying on your own reserves of strength is fine, I think...as long as there are good reserves....if they could do with stocking up, talking therapies can assist with that xx 

well done you for getting so far and for coping as you have x 

That's such a nice message, Star. Thank you. Will try the GP route for sure