Got it wrong about your sister i remember you and her were cleaning out your mums house i presumed you were close i understand that my eldest sisters only for her but she is so likable you have to realy know her to see but theres seven of us so ive a few spare lol . I think shrubberys right there we always hope they change but you boyfriends father dosnt even think he is like that .lots of rubbish blokes hit run i call em such con men .ive two daughts ones husbands great the othere othere  thought to world owed him cauldnt stand him sorry you had a not so good dad but by the way you talk your lovely mum made up for theres a yorkshire saying theres nowt so qu.eer as folk and its true we are like snowflakes not one the same . You sound like a strong caring you lady you give support to others and your not far along yourself i bet your mums proud as puch when she looks in on you from time to time . .paul ps had to put a dot between the que..er word it edits that word out in some context that would be offensive but not in this case 

Thanks Paulus. Yes, clearing out my mums house was very difficult, and it was made worse by the fact I had to do it all on my own, despite living half an hour away, and despite the fact that my sister lived upstairs!!! I literally packed up the entire house. My sister has put the furniture onto an online marketplace to sell, so she has done something at least. But no, we are not very close. But we do care about each other, and don't fight or say mean things to each other. So it could be worse. 

I was very lucky to have the mum that I had. I'm trying to figure out a way to feel like she is still a part of my life if that makes sense. I'm not religious but I still feel everything that she ever said is still inside me, and so in a way, she is still here, in an abstract kind of way. I remember you mentioning that knew that Liz was nearby because a channel on the t.v came on that she liked. Do you still feel her near? 

After reading all of these wonderful comments, I now feel very comfortable in just dismissing my boyfriends dad. I know what he is now, and to be honest it's probably more sad for my boyfriend as he still had to deal with the guy! We have to see him at a family gathering next month. Have to do the hugs and kisses! But I'll just wander around talking to other people and spend as little time with him as I can. 

Hi ime not religious at all but i  definatly felt her at beginning the way the tv came on for royle wedding  its an old one in the bedroom its never come on before or since my new one downstairs is always doing it .i just felt her for a while and we were soul mates together 24 hours a day .but i think we all have that sixth sence some stronger than otheres science says energy cannot be destroyed or made its just always there but changes so where does the energy go thats in us anyway ime keeping an open mind on it but i think they come back from time to time . Love for a child or person is a very powerful thing ive 3 kids and seven grandkids so i know what true love is for offspring .getting a bit deep now seen . Ive watched  your posts i know your still hurting but you seem to be soldgering on hes just another blip in your life it will be his loss in the end its iust a shame hes going to be around i would do like you said just be polite and carry on in a month or two you will not give him a second thought i think humans can cope with anything and you seem to be doing ok as i am  not great but its get better every week .paul

What's with this recent obsession with hugs and kisses? We're British, until ten years ago we were famous for our aversion of public displays of affection. Now, possibly because of reality TV, it seems to be compulsory to give big hugs as if we were Russians and kisses as if we're French! 

A firm handshake and a curt nod is quite enough, thank you ;-) 

Well said and children should be seen and not heard ba humbug lol .p

Now now Dave... it is December... and father xmas is watching you ... and I for one think those vertual hugs are comforting ...  so sorry no curt nod to you ... big hug to you too ... l know your a big softy under that brilliant mind of yours ... l wont tell any one ..... your secrets safe with me ...  

Take care ...  Chrissie  ...   ; ))

I don't mind hugs, but if I know that certain people are fine without hugs, then we won't hug. I really prefer to just wave and say good bye at a party. I actually find it very stressful to have to go around and hug and kiss so many people. My family were not a touchy feely group at all. I cuddled and kissed my mum when I was little, but for some reason once I became a teenager all the affection stopped completely. We absolutely never hugged. I hugged her once about 15 years ago to say goodbye because I lived in England and I knew it would be at least a year before I saw her again. I don't think she even hugged back, so that was weird. My sister and I haven't hugged in over 15 years. My boyfriends family (all British) definitely like the hugs. We have to do a hug, and then sometimes a kiss on each cheek and it freaks me out. I always get it wrong, I go for the wrong cheek and end up bumping our heads. His dad likes to have a hug and kisses on cheeks. 

I think dave   was joking we do what we want to do i myself think its lovely when you loose someone its time when we need as much effection and support we can get i think some of the older generation were still suffering a bit of fallout from the victorian eara it wasnt seemly to show anything with that lot .so we were never shown how to give effection and some sufferd outright emotional neglect and thats not easy to come back from like you my mum never gave us a cuddle but she showed her effection food and generosity the way you told me about all the meals your mum cooked and how her kitchen stuff was so important to you it sounds like your mum was the same ..paul

lol the clue as to whether I was joking was in the emoji ;-) 

A few years ago I did a Sociology A level at night school and we had to write about the difference between Churchill's funeral and Princess Di's and then compare contrast the social attitudes prevailing at the time of each. As a supposedly mature student I identified more with the social mores associated with Churchill's than those associated with Di's  :-)