Hi Mary-dog

I know exactly how you are feeling.I can only say it all takes time to adjust. Your mum must be finding it very hard having nursed your dad for some time ,but hopefully she will be able to take some comfort in that in the future.Keep talking to your mum and try and arrange some time together, the upcoming festive period can be very hard indeed.Be kind to yourselves and know with time things will get easier.

Evie x

Hi it dosnt sound like you live in uk sorry you have had to go through this .perhaps your mum may benifit from bereavement counciling . Bereavement group .and social group .its that utter lonliness and wondering how to cope that realy gets to you when you loose your partner i did all these things they say its easier for a man but its its not theres more ladys friendship groups out there have a look on internet for her if she can drive that helps its so easy to stick at home as it seems safe and a good place to be at times but not all the time i can understand you grieving for your mum but its very early for her and you and people do bounce back .but i found a quick call on a morning and night works wonders not a text or email we oldies like to ttalk on the phone just to hear your voice will realy help your mum best wishs to you both

Many thanks.

yes we are doing all that and I encourage her to come and Ben with me for any occasion, including Christmas.   These trips are great for her, and she’s goes back home feeling very good but it just doesn’t last long.

Many thanks is for your reply.

im UK based but she is not - sadly. She’s only in her late 60’s and has so much more life to live. I presume she will get there but I just feel so bad for her. 

Sorry to hear abou your dad; you may just have to be patient about your mum.  Is she able to use Skype (or similar) so that you can see her and chat with her more regularly?  Annie

I understand must be heartbraking to c but you know my kids are they same ime in my sixtys to and they think ime like a kid they forgot me changing there noppies and coming when there in trouble . So us oldies are not so soft and very capable i may sound a bit light hearted but ime not meaning to you both just need time to get your strength back so just try not to worry ime sure your mum will bounce back but your right she needs phyisical company ime sure othere countrys have groups to join its a case of finding them isnt there ex pats clubs just sugestions there are so many lonely people out there its just a question of finding them .at the moment its a question of making sure your mum eats its all to do with time but bless you for caring so much .paul