Hi toshi thank you ime so sorry about your husband i lost my partner to this evil disese so i know how hard and lonely it feels .i hope you are getting plenty of support and if not come on here and we will do our best sorry no ones replied perhaps they just think you just want to express yourself people post for maney reasons on here sometimes rant somtimes for just someone to talk to or advice but whatever it is you are most welcome best wishs paul

Hi toshi,

I am sorry to hear about your husbands passing. Our husbands are by our side, supporting and helping and when we need them for one of the most awful times, they are not able to be there for us. You are right, grief is hard, destructive and different for everyone. 

I lost my husband of 43 years on October 6th this year to lung cancer. I call him my husband, but we never married, we were going to this year but his illness happened to quickly, but as we were faithful to each other for 43 years, I call him husband. We did have our union blessed by a minister in the week before he died.  I have never felt like this before. I lost my darling Dad 18 years ago and my beloved Mum 7 years ago, and although I was devastated, I had my John by my side to help me through it. We didn't have children, and I was an only child, so now I feel very alone and lonely. As you say life is hard without them, and I just take one day at a time, just to get through each day. That's all any one of us can do. 

Take care and much love xxx