Hello DawnAngela

Sorry but I don't think anyone can answer your question.

I lost the love of my life 17 years ago & still have not come to terms with it.

Maybe now I have bladder cancer & hope I will be reunited with him at the end of my life.

Hugs x

Sorry to hear that you are suffering too and about your diagnosis. How are you doing? Have yuo started treatment? xx

Hi DawnAngela

I refused treatment due to I didn't want to lose any quality of life to gain of few wks/mths.

It has been just over a year since my diagnosis so I'm doing ok.

x

I understand that, I am glad you are doing ok. Wishing you all the best x

Hi there so  sorryabout your mum yes i can well understand you been cheeted your mum was so young and so are you it realy is a monster of a dieses is cancer i lost mum years ago but remember the pain but i lost my partner 6 months ago i feel robbed to but it does get eisier and a years not that long you dont forget but the pain does go how long it varies from person to person .ime much older than you i do know you can try to hard for kids stress and worry doesnt help conceiving just relax as much as you can and along they will come .some seem to not want to let go of the pain and thats ok its how it is but i find it lasts longer but most move this and eventualy get onto a more even .keel but however long it takes you dont worry you will get rid of this horrible yearning eventualy .so my best wishs to you and your partner .p

Thank you for your notes, I really appreciate it and good to talk to people who understand. Sorry to hear you have lost both your mum and your partner too, what an awful disease it is. I wonder if a part of it is that if I let go of the pain I would feel like I am letting go of my mum but obviously I know deep down that is not true. I guess it’s trying to adapt to the new normal, which I am sure you are going through too. I need to try and find stuff I enjoy again. Just seem to have a big black cloud following me around. But I guess my mum and your loved ones wouldn’t want us to feel this way, they would want us to move forward and try to live our lives to the full. Thanks for messaging x

Your welcome bereavement counciling may help as after a few months everyone seems to go back to nornmal and tend to want to change the suject trying to be kind when you still need to talk about it thats the thing with councilers you get to talk rant cry and everything else and they dont try to change the subject it. realy is helping me but of course its your choice .as a dad i would not my kids to be in this black void thats for sure and i like to speak for you mum in this she would definatly feel as i do so my best wishs to you and hope that stick turns blue for you soon paul

I think I will give that a go, thank you, some very wise words. A

No you will never let go of your mum but in grief there in you mind 24/7 then as you start to level out you start to get back to your life which you have to do .then it will seem like your forgetting but your not realy i felt same till i figured it out pain has nothing to do with love but it gets mixed in with it all at the time and its dificult to seperate i suppose grief is a way your mind works to sort it out its  dam painful thoe for a while then good memories sometimes with a touch of sadness .p

I guess it’s a long journey that we have to go on. Thank you and I hope you are doing ok also. a