Hi , I’d like to share my story and struggles so I can maybe relate with someone, because I don’t really know anyone I can relate or talk to.

My Mum passed away on Sunday the 9th September this year, of stage 4 Ovarian Cancer. We didn’t know she had cancer, 10 weeks before her death... so it was really quick.

I am an only child, I’m currently 18 years old, and am finishing my a levels, I managed to show my mum my results in August, she was so happy to see I was doing well. Me and my mum had a really close connection, we loved all the same things, shared all the same opinions, she was my best friend. I’d love to make her laugh and see her smile, and not being able to do these things really hurts.

i don’t have any siblings which I can storm this through with, it’s just me and my Dad. We’re both as distraught as each other. She was such a key role in our family and in my heart.

Im more upset about the missed opportunities she’s never going to see, like me going to University, getting married, having children, getting a job. In a way, i feel guilty and I can’t help it, or solve it.

I look around at all my friends and become jealous that they have their parents, some maybe divorced, but while your parents are on this planet, things can always be amended... I would literally do anything to spend one more minute with my mum.

i would spend days and nights at the hospital with her, because I just felt comfortable being near her. I watched her quickly decline, and it was heart crushing. I never really ate much and lost so much weight that my joints ache. I think the very worse part for me was when  Mum, on her last day, was begging for help. That really killed me... knowing there was nothing I could do to save her, even though I would’ve literally done everything.

This is my story, and right now I’m really struggling to cope, overall. If anyone can relate, give advice or anything, I would be really appreciative.

thank you for taking time to read. ;)