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I’m struggling with the loss of my Mum

DanielC
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Hi , I’d like to share my story and struggles so I can maybe relate with someone, because I don’t really know anyone I can relate or talk to.

My Mum passed away on Sunday the 9th September this year, of stage 4 Ovarian Cancer. We didn’t know she had cancer, 10 weeks before her death... so it was really quick.

I am an only child, I’m currently 18 years old, and am finishing my a levels, I managed to show my mum my results in August, she was so happy to see I was doing well. Me and my mum had a really close connection, we loved all the same things, shared all the same opinions, she was my best friend. I’d love to make her laugh and see her smile, and not being able to do these things really hurts.

i don’t have any siblings which I can storm this through with, it’s just me and my Dad. We’re both as distraught as each other. She was such a key role in our family and in my heart.

Im more upset about the missed opportunities she’s never going to see, like me going to University, getting married, having children, getting a job. In a way, i feel guilty and I can’t help it, or solve it.

I look around at all my friends and become jealous that they have their parents, some maybe divorced, but while your parents are on this planet, things can always be amended... I would literally do anything to spend one more minute with my mum.

i would spend days and nights at the hospital with her, because I just felt comfortable being near her. I watched her quickly decline, and it was heart crushing. I never really ate much and lost so much weight that my joints ache. I think the very worse part for me was when  Mum, on her last day, was begging for help. That really killed me... knowing there was nothing I could do to save her, even though I would’ve literally done everything.

This is my story, and right now I’m really struggling to cope, overall. If anyone can relate, give advice or anything, I would be really appreciative.

thank you for taking time to read. ;)

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    Hi Daniel,

    I am really sorry to hear about your mum and I know it is so hard when we lose those close to us. You will find people who have and are going through similar things on here and we are here to support you if we can. I have lost many family members half of which were to cancer and I love them so much and still miss them everyday. I was with my grandma at the end like you were with your mum and I know how awful it is when they are in pain and and begging for relief, all I did was held her hand and talked and sang to her until she left us. It was one of the hardest moments and ill never forget it.

    I have a similar relationship with my grandma as you do with your mum and when they leave us it leaves us with a emptiness that cant be filled. When it comes to her not being there for big parts of your future, I have a belief that those we love, when they go they dont leave us completely, she is always with you, in your heart and in spirit if that is also your belief. I know you wont be able to see her but she will be there with you. I know all you wish for is to see your mum again, I would do anything to have more time with my family, to tell them I love them, hug them, and just be with them. Its understandable to feel this way though, I feel the same about grandparents but you will be ok. 

    How I got through it is, I cried when I needed to, gathered my strength when I needed to and literally took it a day at a time, I dont really like that saying but its true thats what I did. I still miss my family every single day and I would still do anything to see them again. Lean on people that you can and feel comfortable with. Keeping busy is a good thing to if you can, and just keeping people around you that can support you. 

    I hope you're ok, 

    Bex 

  • Offline in reply to Bexi

    Hi Bex,

    thanks for reading. Im sorry what you've been through and thank you for the advice. I think because it's so raw and recent that it still impacts. I do like this forum, it is filled with lots of people like yourself who I feel I can relate. I hope you take care now.

    -Dan

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  • Offline in reply to Bexi

    Hi Bex,

    thanks for reading. Im sorry what you've been through and thank you for the advice. I think because it's so raw and recent that it still impacts. I do like this forum, it is filled with lots of people like yourself who I feel I can relate. I hope you take care now.

    -Dan

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