Hi seraphine

Like you I'm not particularly close to my sister so we don't tend to share our grief but we do share our positive experiences of mam so maybe that may be a way to unite you with your sister a bit? We exchange stories about signs we get from her and how well we are doing. We basically prop each other up even if we are not actually feeling what we say we feel. I can't truly express to anyone how her physical loss has impacted my life. It's to hard and i notice I'm very irritable these days. It really bugs me when people ask how i am and I'm not sure why it bugs me?! Maybe it's because they are shining a light on the most vulnerable part of me or maybe i feel that they are intruding on this most awful of times.. i think about her non stop so the last thing I feel like doing is laying bare this pain.

I can't really answer your question about to see the signs seraphine. I think they have to be felt or experienced, we can't push them, they need to be allowed happen. Apparently (from the many sites I've been reading) we shouldn't look for signs..instead we should live life and just let the sign happen. My aunt's both lost daughters over 20 years ago and still feel their presence so they don't go away so please don't worry about your mum leaving you because she absolutely won't. She's yours forever and you hers. I pray every day and ask her for signs. Sometimes they come sometimes they don't. I'm sure she sends signs but i may be very busy at the time and i may not pick up on them or notice them, maybe that is happening for you too..My experience has been feeling a physical presence beside my right side as well as several weird coincidences that have happened. So many have happened that dad and myself actually laugh now. Things like talking about someone neither of us has seen or thought about for 5 or 10 years and then they ring/we meet them. Its uncanny and 1 or 2 of these occurrences are explainable but there have been so many! Other stuff too like the other night the family were all together and enjoying fun with the kids etc and a children's channel was on the tv and after a while my sister wondered who had put on the religious radio station that specifically plays holy music!! No-one had been near the remote so we all sat there elated at this wonderful sign that was 100% mam who had popped by to say hi and join in the fun. My mother is super religious so this is exactly the type of sign she would send. How else can you explain a tv station changing to a radio station that specifically plays holy music! I don't think signs have to fall from the sky seraphine for us to know they are there. The fact is they are there, we just have to trust and believe and i know your mum will send you a sign. Even by me having a good day (if you can call it that) i take as a sign as i know she's holding hand right through this ghastly time. 

Great to chat to you and even your support is a sign from mam who i know led me to this wonderful site where everyone is so  generous with their time and responses.

Chat soon and do ask her for signs and don't lose heart as I'm sure she's very busy looking after your family as well so be patient : - )

Denise