Dear Mrs.B,  I am in contact through private messaging on this forum with a lady whose husband died a few months ago and trust me she is also struggling.   I think everyone thinks you should be able to get over it, this is not how it happens.  He was your world and as my friend said she suddenly realised that no one else would think she was the best thing since sliced bread now that Danny had gone.  She is now seeing a counsellor for bereavement and it's helping.   If you feel this may help enquire about it.  Bereavement is personal so don't expect to follow a plan, he was your husband and missing him is normal.   My other friend is three years into grieving and we still listen to her when she talks about Trevor, talk about him, remember good times, cry when you need to, hibernate if it's a bad day.  Keep posting as chatting helps.  Sending love your way.  Carol 

Hi mrs b i lost my partner five months ago it still hurts but its getting easier .i went straight out and arranged bereavment counciling and joind a bereavment group at first i was so stressed out i didnt think it helped but stuck at it and now i find its realy helping me through plus help and good advice from members and moderaters on here .if i had stayed home with grief ime sure i wouldnt be as far on as i am now.thing after a while people want to change the suject when you still need to talk and the bereavement councilers dont want to talk about something else people say they are still grieving after a few years but its mourning realy r think and they are not in pain like the early day .your still raw yet its very early on for you but please take heart over the fact that it does get easier and easier but the time depends on the person grieving .ime sorry you lost your husband best wishs so try the counciling if you can hospices do it or gps can arrange it .p

Im all over the place. We always do Christmas but I cant face it this year. Ive told my elderly separated parents i would do a buffet but i dont want to do anything familiar.  My son wants me to spend it with him and his family. I have said yes as its going to be low key and they want to look after me. Trouble is i feel so guilty letting my parents down. Too much to contend with

Hi there, I lost my husband almost six weeks ago. He was diagnosed with stage 4 non small cell lung cancer that has metastasised to his brain. He died 7 weeks after diagnosis. He died of pneumonia as after his first chemotherapy he got a chest infection and his immune system dropped out completely. He became neutropenic and couldn’t fight the infection and I lost him in a week. I can completely sympathise with how you are feeling as he is my whole world and I adore him.

While I may not be able to offer advice, I can say I have a good idea of how you feel and you are not alone, even though you probably feel it, I do.

I’ve said I can’t do Christmas at all this year, I’m going to my daughter’s but I’m dreading the whole holiday. I’ve had family staying with me but in a few weeks they’ll move out and I’m dreading living all alone.

I know I may not be of help but if you just want to rant then please go ahead, I’ll rant with you.

Just take one minute at a time, don’t look too far ahead. Look after yourself xx

Hi yes its difficult to know what to do ime the same dredding xmass and newyear would it be difficult for your son to have your mum and dad over or have your son and family over with you having family and loved ones around to love and care rubs off but you do what you think best me im staying home i find it more comforting .i hope your feeling a little bit more at peace it does get easier as time goes by . liz was the love of my life to so i know how it is you will not be thinking straight yet might i suggest you talk it over with them all and see what they say its only for a day let us know how your doing .paul ps or just everyone bring some food and just have a quiet day togethere it may not be as bad as you think and its a few months away and althoe you may not think so now. you may be in a slightly better place by then

Bless you. Its awful. I feel people think after a couple of months you should be starting to "look up". I dont know about you but my hubs was a total rock. I have ms and have had to return to work. He wanted me to be able to finish when he got his pension next year .

Im sorry your loss was so sudden. Our story was that he had beaten it twice & had neutropenic sepsis the 1st time round. To lose him from treatment given to save him is something im struggling to deal with as im sure you are the same. Take care xx