Hello missie and welcome to the forum.  Sorry that you are having such a horrible time since the death of your mum.  I so much liked your logo by the way.  If you read some of the posts you will find that - sadly - many others are going or have gone through similar distress and inability to cope in these circumstances and I hope you will feel that you would like to respond to some of their posts as it always helps to find someone who understands.  Why don't you get on with your family - you obviously had a very good relationship with your mum and I wonder why this didn't reach to other family members.  When you are in a deep depression it can be very hard to start to climb your way out but you have taken your first step by coming here and I hope you will post regularly.  Don't try to to do too much at once to improve things.  Once you have started chatting with people here I hope you will comfortable with posting about your situation and then you can perhaps take small steps to start dealing with other issues - you say you have gained a lot of weight and - only when you feel ready - you may be able to do something about that.  But take your time.  It is some years now since I lost my mum to cancer and I know it feels that nobody else in the world understands but of course they do.  I would say just about everyone who posts here has been through a really bad time at some point in their lives so don't be afraid to say how you feel.  Again, welcome and we look forward to chatting further with you.  Annie