Hi there ... so sorry your still grieving so bad ... but your never alone here ... there's always someone to chat too ... 

Funerals and grief can cause cross words .. you know as hard as it is, it is never too late to reach out ... just listening to others ... you don't have to agree with others, just understand why they are hurting to .. a simple text or letter saying you love them .. and miss having them in your lives .. it's not about holding on to the past, it's about reaching out for the future ... us adults hold on to pain and grief .. because we can understand that pain .. moving forward can make you think your leaving Sally behind .. but we don't.. we can bring them with us in our hearts ... and your boys are part of you .. never give up on them .. if you try and they turn away at least you reached out your arms ... 

Is there a charity you could help ... they cry out for helpers and you have the knowledge to help so many, going through what you have ... and in doing that, you'll be making Sally proud ... 

So don't feel alone, write your feelings .. reach out to others on here .. you are the only one that can make a change ... you'll still have sad days, but on here you have someone to share them with ..

Chrissie x

Hi JamieR.

I needed to reply to your post as I have recently been widowed after loosing my husband on the 29th July this year to also the awful diagnosis of metastatic pancreatic cancer. We had just returned from a lovely week away to celebrate my 50th birthday and 29th wedding anniversary in June this year when my husband started to suffer with feeling full after eating and pain under his right ribs and around his back. We also went to the doctors who prescribed him gastro reflux tablets. His pain escalated to needing stronger prescribed pain relief, where they then done blood tests. These came back with high liver enzymes and he was sent for an urgent ultrasound on the 10th July, he had a follow up appointment on Friday 13th July( a day I will never forget!) and it was then we had the dreaded news he had several tumours on his liver which they believed has started in the pancreas. Our worlds fell apart as he was already telling us there was no surgery options and as my husband was showing signs of jaundice, chemo may not be an option either! My husband deteriorated at home very quickly, he was already on morphine but became unable to keep it down along with food and fluids. He was admitted to hospital on 22nd July and passed away on 29th July with myself and our only child by his side. I am int total shock he was my life. Like yourselves we to were going on holiday this month to Florida to continue our joint 50th birthdays. I had only 2 weeks from diagnosis to his passing, we never spoke about what was in front of us as he was so scared and I had to support him till the end, now my life has crumbled, and there is nothing anyone can do or say to ease the heartache I am suffering, and it does really hurt. 

I am sorry to mumble on as it is very clear you are too still suffering, just wanted to express you are not alone, as I have felt very alone, but reading these posts have made me realise i’m not the only one to feel like this. Take care of yourself. Debbie51

Thank you Debbie for your kind words I don’t know what to say to you because I know you won’t listen as your in a zone of your own right now.

I’m so sorry for your loss and it being so quick nothing could prepare you for that, but you are a strong person I can tell, your main concern now is your child being there for them being the strong parent they need right now.

you can always talk don’t be afraid don’t do like I did and hide it for nearly 3yrs 

jamier

Hi Debbie51

I have just read your post and I am very sorry for your loss.

Our stories are so similar it’s unreal. I lost my wife to metastatic bowel cancer on the 2nd of July this year she was 51 years old. She only had 3 weeks from diagnosis till passing. She loved  Bryan Adams and we were in Dublin at one of his concerts at the end of may when she took a pain in her side. We came home the next day and she returned to work but t she was sent home in agony. I took her to A&E and they diagnosed bowel cancer that had spread to her liver,ovaries,lymph nodes and pancreas. They offered no treatment and she was admitted to hospital on 21st of June and died 10 days later with me and our 3 kids beside her.

My family are completely devastated and I am just lost. The feelings of pain longing and loneliness are at times unbearable she was my rock and my soulmate and I miss her so much. To make matters worse our first grandchild was born 2 weeks ago a little girl she never got to meet.

please don’t apologise as we are all suffering immensely and please take care of yourself.

P.S try suedyer online community forum it is good.

william