Hi Sue,

Thank you for your post, I am so sorry you too have lost your husband to this silent deadly type of cancer!! 

I can honestly say that I know how you are feeling right now, this is such a horrible way to loose our husbands, to watch them waste away in such a short period of time is so painful to see. This cancer is very hard to detect as the pancreas is so buried and after some research it can be a tumour for up to 11 years before it decides to spread without any symptoms beforehand.

I am so sorry your husbands treatment didn’t work and he had to suffer for so long. My husbands was a very quick diagnosis and passing, which was a massive shock as we really didn’t get time to come to terms with what, how, and why this was happening to him.He was a very brave man till the end.

This is a very difficult journey of grief that you will be going on especially in this challenging times we are in right now and I really feel for you and your family. I was starting to move forward and reliving all our good memories until this COVID-19 and now being in lockdown I have never felt so alone. I have some amazing friends and neighbors who have shown lots of kindness but to not have the person you love so much to turn to for a cuddle in these strange times is so difficult. 

Please take all the support you can from those who care as it really does help you along the grieving process, and I am thinking and sending you lots of hugs and love at this moment. 

Stay safe and strong.

Debbie 51

Hi Sue

Sorry to hear your loss. I lost my precious son who was 34 on August 21st 2020. It was so sudden. By mid July he felt sudden onset of terrible back pain thought must have pulled muscles while exercising, gave him paracetamol and ibuprofen, didn't help much. After a week he rang GP. GP though sciatica prescribed gabapentin, still pain was really bad. Third week he developed shortness of breath and palpitation, started losing weight as well. GP asked him to come for blood test next morning. His oxygen saturation was low plus pulse rate was fast. Took him to A&E, found his haemoglobin was 85 quite low. Doctor thought could be Leukaemia, had CT scan, blood test, X-ray didn't show anything. Next day he had bone marrow biopsy, had to wait for a week for the results. He was so positive, kept telling me mum I'm strong and positive even if it's cancer I'll fight for it don't worry. On 6 th day of admission we got few results which was confirmed cancer but didn't know where. Next day we got results, doctor told us it's pancreatic cancer not curable only a week left. It was devastating. We cried. I managed to call all his friends, family, my daughter (his sister) we were all there for him. He was so positive, must be so hard to take such horrible news. Next morning he passed away in my arm beside his sister. 

 I'm still in state of shock. My life is upside down, empty. He was a healthy man, never smoked, no alcohol, regular exercise, swimming, even he avoid fizzy drinks. He loved trekking, travelling, music, video games, reading. Working full time, supporting me, soiling me. Everybody knows him as a gentle kind person, always smiling, never seen him grumpy, stressed. I am a divorcee, we were so happy together as my daughter moved last year to Scotland with her boyfriend. I am an extrovert person, always busy at work ( I am A&E nurse), home, going out with friends. Things has totally changed now I hardly move from my bed, no appetite, no energy, all I could do is cry most of the time.  It's so cruel. So sudden, so young my child has taken away. I'm broken.

a grieving

a grieving mother, please help me.

Ash

Hi,

I'm very sorry to hear about your husband and the traumatic time you have been going through. I know people say that often, and it doesn't mean much, but I am sorry because I lost my mum to pancreatic cancer in March, so I know how you feel. She died 5 weeks after diagnosis, and her last 5 weeks on this earth were miserable. I went through bereavement counselling for 6 weeks in June, which helped a lot because I become mum's carer, and it was very traumatizing. It helped a lot at the time, and now I take antidepressants, which numbs the sadness. Well, that's all I have to say, but remember, you are not alone because there are people on here who know exactly what you are going through.

All the best.