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My husband died after 7 weeks of diagnosis

MazdaG
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My husband died yesterday after chemotherapy caused his immune system to be wiped out. He only had one cycle and got a chest infection. It happened right at the time his immune system was dipping but instead of dipping it wiped out so he couldn’t fight it. The hospital did everything they could and I couldn’t fault them. I lost him within a week and only 7.5 weeks after diagnosis. 

My life is over now. I truly adore my husband. He was and is my soul mate. I cannot believe he’s gone. I have lots of family but he was my life and he’s gone. Although I wouldn’t do anything, I see no point of being here. 

Is there anything anyone can say to help me as right now I cannot see how I’ll get through another hour. 

  • Offline in reply to MazdaG

    Mazda xx 

    Broke my heart to read your post...I keep saying it but...I know what that kind of love is like. I can’t imagine what you are going through (I actually got a right stab in my heart reading your last post) x 

    You know...I think it is quite rare to find a love like you have with your husband...some people go their whole lives without finding a special one. You are so lucky you both found each other and were able to enjoy a near decade together xx 

    You know...I thought about you the other day when I saw some postings from other ladies who had also suffered loss. I’m not sure how to ‘tag’ you on them but if you have a look at the loss section, there are unfortunately many people in the same boat. 

    What was lovely was that I saw a conversation between two lovely ladies who had been speaking for a very long time after they had lost their husbands...to see how they had recovered through their words and to have an insight in to their lives now...it was so uplifting and full of hope. Please look out for them and others...it’s great you have family xx speaking with others ‘in the know’ might also be good xx 

    8 weeks is so, so recent still. Sorry if I am being inappropriate saying this but I honestly believe we meet again with our loved ones who have passed....not overly religious or spiritual or anything...just a real strong feeling of being certain about this! That doesn’t make sense...well, I know where I’m coming from =) xx 

    you are doing so well...and they’re not empty words. 

    Take good care and speak soon 

    S x x 

  • Offline in reply to starcatone

    Hi S,

    Thank you for keeping in touch, it’s nice to hear from you.

    I agree with what you said, love like what my husband and I shared is rare and not everyone experiences that. We both knew that and oftemysaid how fortunate we were to have found each other. It’s wonderful I know but also completely devastating when it’s gone. I’ve been told your grief reflects the love you have for someone and mine is torturous. I feel my heart has been ripped out. I miss him every second. We did everything together, even our work was intertwined as when we met, he was my boss! :-) 

    You are not being inappropriate saying I’ll see him again. I actually do believe in God and so does my husband and I have no doubt I’ll see him again. It is a comfort but I still miss him and want to be with him. I’m worried I might have to live another 40 years without him, I want to go now.

    Thank you for telling me about those other posts, I’ll have a look through. 

    How are you doing? You are so very kind to always speak to me but I know you are hurting as well. 

    I think we just have to remember that it can only be done one day at a time. 

    Xx

  • Offline in reply to MazdaG

    Hi Mazda xx 

    How is it going? (......what a silly question....!) 

    Wow...that is amazing that hubbie started out as your boss! It’s so nice that this went on to be such a special relationship, that you found each other like that. 

    You describe him as such a wonderful man. I can tell you are so proud of him. 

    There is a new hairdresser at the salon I go to. She said a man rushed out of the library in Italy a few years ago and knocked her over, spilling her coffee everywhere and giving her a nasty bang on her leg. She married that man a couple of years ago. I love stories like that when two worlds collide, like you and your husband and something amazing comes out of it. 

    How are you finding getting through the days, Mazda? I think you have a good plan - one day at a time. I can recall saying to myself ‘just get through the next few minutes...or the next hour’...it sort of helped to break it down in minutes or an hour when things were really bad (the thought of getting through the whole day was a bit intimidating some days!) 

    I was just considering how shocking this has been for you...this is just so unfair....I can’t imagine what you are going through but...I am thinking of you and please do come on here if you need a chat. Sadly...I have seen so many posts lately from others who have lost :( unfortunately there are a fair few people who are in the know. 

    I am certain we do meet our loved ones again. 100%. I know this doesn’t help with the here and now...but...I guess it is a comfort to know they’re in a great place now and that this is a temporary loss only xx if you know what I mean! 

    Well I am hoping and praying for you, Mazda - for strength and courage to get through these days xx 

    take care xx and hope to hear from you again when you’re next passing xx 

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