Hi there ...

Yea my niece, lost the love of her life, befor he was 30... they had a 3 year old lad and a 10 month old baby ... a little part of her died that day ... she wore his cloths, wouldn't change bed sheets ... and many a day, week, month, and year she spent on overdrive .. just trying to get through one more day ...

We held her and the kids hands through every step ... and those days turned to weeks, to months, to years ..  she slowly came back, and was amazing, she knew those kids needed her... she was determined to do the best job with them she could ... we talk to them about their dad .. we bring him on our journey .. now , the boy looks the spit of his dad ... the baby girl has just graduated ... their dad lives in them ...and although my niece keeps their dad in her heart always, she has found a wonderful caring man to help fill that huge hole he left ... 

Nothing will take that raw pain away ... but it will ease ... but you never stop missing them ... you just keep her tucked up in your heart now ... and you will see her in your boy ... you both made him ... he will need you now ... and a book that may help, is by Rio Ferdinand ... who lost his wife and left 3 children .. he's been where you are now ... sending you a big hug ... just take baby steps for now ... and be kind to your heart ... know you were blessed to have had her in your life ... and you know cancer really sucks .. 

Always a good place to come where people here know the feelings your going though .. each a different journey. . But wer all on there with you ... Chrissie x

I'm sorry, I haven't been where you are. But I will be soon. My husband is dying and I will be a widow at the age of 23, we have 3 children between us. They are the only things pushing me forward.

I'm sorry I can't give advice, from what I've learnt trying to cope myself is that there isn't any magic advice that will take away this pain or make it easier. 

I just want to send some love and say I know you're lonely but you're not alone. We are here and we share your pain. Keep going x 

Hi I hope that it does get easier - my husband who was the love of my life died 4 weeks ago leaving me alone at 42. We have two beautiful children aged 3 and 8. It would have been our 11th wedding anniversary today. I thought we would be together forever. He was only diagnosed at the end of January.  Life is so cruel.

Hi loosing a partner is agony and every thing stops and we think our pain will last forever its the loneliness got me and the worsed thing is anxiaty anything out of the ordinary feels insurmountable .this came up at my bereavement group about thinking we are going to be in pain forever everyone felt the same but this is what people said as we move through grief our mind does it slowly it happens and we dont notice it but most never stay the same your very early on and it must be so painful but try filling in a diary each day how you feel and are managing it sounds lame but it realy isn't every so often have a read you will see your mood and grief changing it takes a while but then you will see and it will help. just how you feel we cant tell as part of our brain gets used to the pain and it becomes the new normal and dosnt want to let go but the other part carries on moving you through grief is the price we pay for love .but we dont have to pay forever and it dosnt mean you love the one you lost any less but at the time it feels that way so i may get some stick for this but yes it does get better you dont forget your love nore do you love them less it just stops hurting how long it takes varies but it does so you hang on in there keep telling yourself ime going to be ok im ok and eventualy you will but go out get bereavment counciling be with friends and family love and nice people rubs off we need to be with people join  a club staying at home all the time seems safe and comfortable but not all the time you will get there trouble is theres some say o you never get over it etc etc well thats not realy any help it just makes you feel worse and lose hope .so keep trying dont give in and eventualy you will be ok it will not be the same somtimes you will slip back but you will come back .ime so sorry your going through this but your not alone.my liz had her first chemo monday had a massive stroke friday and died of sepsis 4 am sunday morning so i didnt have any time with her and she could barly talk i didnt tell there was no hope and goodbye. some are lucky and can do that but i didnt want her to know that what help would that be theres a saying every one knows how to go thrugh grief till they have to go through it themselves so do it at your pace small steps ime only telling you this so you know your not alone but ive done this and even thoe ime in pain ime coming through but its less than four months since i lost truely the love of my life .best wishs paul ps and if you can keep away from alcohol it dampens the pain but soon it becomes another problem and just makes it last longer no ones escaped pain from the bottom of a bottle but so many try you can get bereavement counciling at local hospice i did they do it till you dont want to anymore so none of this giving you so many then thats it .its free