I'm so sorry. I lost my mum to cholangiocarcinoma 11 years ago. It was also a very rapid decline lasting just 7 weeks.

I was in total shock over my mum for a long time. I felt she'd been ripped away from us and she'd been robbed of a part of her life. My daughter was 8 months old and has grown up not knowing how gentle and loving she was.

But ... my mum wasn't in her 30s and she'd had a long marriage. That part is a comfort. I used to find being at work was a help because my job is hectic and it prevented me from thinking about her. But when I was on my own, usually putting my baby to bed, I would cry every night on my own. 

My dad still doesn't/can't stay in the house much. He retired the year after he lost her and he couldn't sleep in the same bed for a long time. He joined a walking club, dancing, sailing, swimming, yoga, went on holidays sometimes by himself, volunteers for things. A few years later, he met someone while out dancing who is a widow. They get on well but he says he will never marry again. That has been his way of coping.

I know an unnerving amount of people who have lost wives, husbands, parents very young or children who have been very young, in some cases with no notice at all. Losing someone so soon and so quickly is the hardest thing any one will ever deal with. You need to talk to someone professional, such as a councillor - even if you don't want to right now, because your situation is particularly tough. I think you also need to have some sort of comfort around you at home. I'm not sure what to suggest ... maybe a close friend, sibling or a parent. Even a dog could offer some comfort. Anything that stops your house from feeling empty. Maybe you could leave your house for a while and stay at your parents', just for comfort, a hug when you need it and not to be by yourself. 

Your grief is going to take a long time to ease. Grief never really goes but you get used to it. I don't know you but I'm thinking of you and I hope you find comfort in someone or something over the next few days. If you want to chat, I'll check in again tomorrow. xxx

I'm so sorry. I lost my mum to cholangiocarcinoma 11 years ago. It was also a very rapid decline lasting just 7 weeks.

I was in total shock over my mum for a long time. I felt she'd been ripped away from us and she'd been robbed of a part of her life. My daughter was 8 months old and has grown up not knowing how gentle and loving she was.

But ... my mum wasn't in her 30s and she'd had a long marriage. That part is a comfort. I used to find being at work was a help because my job is hectic and it prevented me from thinking about her. But when I was on my own, usually putting my baby to bed, I would cry every night on my own. 

My dad still doesn't/can't stay in the house much. He retired the year after he lost her and he couldn't sleep in the same bed for a long time. He joined a walking club, dancing, sailing, swimming, yoga, went on holidays sometimes by himself, volunteers for things. A few years later, he met someone while out dancing who is a widow. They get on well but he says he will never marry again. That has been his way of coping.

I know an unnerving amount of people who have lost wives, husbands, parents very young or children who have been very young, in some cases with no notice at all. Losing someone so soon and so quickly is the hardest thing any one will ever deal with. You need to talk to someone professional, such as a councillor - even if you don't want to right now, because your situation is particularly tough. I think you also need to have some sort of comfort around you at home. I'm not sure what to suggest ... maybe a close friend, sibling or a parent. Even a dog could offer some comfort. Anything that stops your house from feeling empty. Maybe you could leave your house for a while and stay at your parents', just for comfort, a hug when you need it and not to be by yourself. 

Your grief is going to take a long time to ease. Grief never really goes but you get used to it. I don't know you but I'm thinking of you and I hope you find comfort in someone or something over the next few days. If you want to chat, I'll check in again tomorrow. xxx