On July 4th I lost the love of my life. I lost the one thing in this world that always brought a smile to my face, always knew what to say to make me feel better. And now shes gone. She was just 19. That just isnt fair. She always put others before herself and was the most caring person I have ever known. 

And now I dont know what to do with myself. When she was diagnosed last november, we started to plan things that she always wanted to do, like a trip to Japan (she was obbessed with Anime) which we did in April. We spent a lot of time together because i think deep down we both knew we didnt have long left. When she started going down hill a few months ago, i always made sure I was there after work to help her mum look after her. And when she passed away on July 4th 2018, I helped with the funeral planning. But now that thats all over, theres nothing. Nothing to do and nothing to say. Theres a massive hole in my life and at the moment it feels like that hole will never be filled. People keep telling me that she wouldnt want me to feel like this, and I know eventually ill move on, but no one can understand this feeling until they go through it themselves.

Im not sure if theres a point to this post, i think its just some thing i need to get off my chest, but if anyones going through something similar then feel free to reply to it,

RIP babe xxxx