Hi Lucilu; welcome to the forum.  Grief has a nasty habit of sneaking back and biting you sometimes more viciously than when you first lost your loved one.  Just when you think you might  be feeling a little better it can hit you that things are not going to change, your loved one has gone for ever and will never hug you/smile/comfort you ever again.  And regrets can be thrown into the mix too.  You might find it helpful to contact Cruse Bereavement Care (Freefone 0808 808 1677) who will understand and help you.  I know that, like so many charities in this day and age they are struggling in some areas and you might have to have a little wait to get helped but it is worth ringing them as they are very experienced.  I hope you start to feel a bit better.  Annie 

Thank u for ur message annie, i have had counselling sessions with cruse and found them helpful, they ended a few month ago now. I knew the journey wasnt over especially with mum's year date of passing coming up but my god i didnt expect how hard things hit me again. Im sure it will get easier, i just need to realise that these next 5 weeks may be really tough.

Thank u again.

X

Sounds like you need some counciling dont whatever you do dont withdrow into yourself or you will never come to terms with this just pop and c your gp and explaine it to a lady dr i think they are more receptive to these things you do not have to suffer alone you know ime sharing your grief because ime  in your position to so you get yourself down to drs monday and ask for help thats all you have to do and they will help you .best wishes and so sorry you feel this way must be awful but grief is the pits nothing like it regards paul