Cancer Research UK main site

I could use some help.

CaitlynB
Offline

My nan has had cancer for a long time now. She has beaten it once and she’s never really been affected by it. A few weeks ago, she was so close to beating cancer they gave her a break off of her chemo. Withen a week, it had taken over her whole body. 2 days ago I was told she has 2-12 months to live. Yesterday I was told she had 2 weeks to live and today I’ve been told she has 2-6 days. She is now in a local hospice where I went to see her today. I’m struggling to cope and I know by the end of this week she will be dead. Could anyone help me with some ways to cope with the fact she is dying/ (depending on when you read this) the fact that she is dead. I  need help keeping calm.

Thanks, CaitlynB

  • Offline

    Hello caitlynB.  This must have all been a shock to you when you thought she was doing well not so long ago.  It is difficult enough to lose a loved family member even when you have been aware for some time that they do not have much time left.    I don't know if it will help but I am attaching some information from this website about grief some of which may make sense to you.

    about-cancer.cancerresearchuk.org/.../coping-with-grief

    If your gran has been fighting cancer for some time now it may be that her body just could not cope any longer.  So spend what time you have with her, tell her how you love her.  She may not respond but can still very likely hear you.    Best wishes.  Annie

  • Offline

    Hi there, it's  a horrible situation to find yourself in but you don't need to"cope"  with someone dear dying,  it's not an every day occurrence so just go with how you feel.  It's   alright to feel sad, scared,  angry these are human emotions and help us work through trauma and grief.  Your Nan knows you love her and being there with her will comfort both of you.  My Mum took a week to fade away and I held her hand and talked about old times, hearing is the last sense to go so she will be aware of you being there. Cry and grieve properly for her, don't hide your feelings and it will gradually get better and you will remember the good times you had.   I hope this helps a little.x Carol

  • Offline in reply to Annieliz

    Thank You very much. It took her 3 hours to properly die. She started not being able to breathe well etc. I will make sure to read the post you linked.

  • Offline

    Dear Caitlyn

    Im so sorry to hear of your pain. I can relate to these circumstances, my own nana passing from Ovarian Cancer. I went through the same emotions but I sat with her, held her hand, i cried with her even though she was sleeping, i whispered all the things i felt for her to her and even when i was alone and after she went, i cuddled her and told her i loved her. It felt very very sad, heart physically hurts....but I had her for as long as I did and i was happy for that. Time will help you...you wont forget but you will learn to live with it and be happy again. Just be with her x 

Speak to a nurse

Quick links

Follow us

Registered with Fundraising Regulator (logo)
Cancer Research UK is a registered charity in England and Wales (1089464), Scotland (SC041666), the Isle of Man (1103) and Jersey (247). A company limited by guarantee. Registered company in England and Wales (4325234) and the Isle of Man (5713F). Registered address: 2 Redman Place, London, E20 1JQ.