Hello cchick.  It does eventually get more bearable but there is no time limit on grieving; it just varies.  Sometimes you think you are getting over it and it comes back to bite you so you just have to do what you can to cope with it.  At the end of this post I attach a link to a part of this website that deals with grief.

I personally found (having lost both parents over the years) that it does gradually get less but even years later it can hit you and make you sad.  It is is one of life's subtle cruelties that we have so much love for people such as our parents but then we feel the same amount of pain when we lose them.  You will never forget your dad and the love between you but there does come a time when you can remember and smile.  He and your mum have made you the person you are now and as you move forward in your life you can think about how pleased your dad would be.

I still have things that belonged to or remind me of my parents; I have "talked" to them whilst sitting and going through these bits and pieces; I found it helpful.

Talk to your mum; she is possibly not wanting to cause you distress at the same time when you are trying to avoid causing her pain.

www.cancerresearchuk.org/.../coping-with-grief

Best wishes.  Annie