Hi jolley, I lost my mum (58) in August 2017 so we are in a similar situation. It’s hard I was off work for a while but at Christmas I broke down and wasn’t off again suffering with panick attacks and unable to sleep. I’m writing this on my first mother’s day without her and it is hard. People tell you that it gets easier but it definitely doesn’t. I hope you are looking after yourself and I totally understand, I am here if you ever need someone to talk to. 

Hiya Rhirhi06. I’m very sorry to hear about the loss of your mum and at such a young age. I’m also sorry that you have been feeling the same way. People keep telling me it gets easier but it hasn’t for me. Maybe it’s early days for us both, but I definitely don’t feel it. If anything it’s even harder. The panic attacks are awful arent they? I’ve had 2 in work and I felt so embarrassed. The stress of work just tipped me over. I went back to work about 4 weeks after to keep busy. I thought that was enough at the time, but now it’s getting hard to keep the brave face. Yesterday was awful. I think about her and miss her everyday but yesterday just highlighted the fact she is no longer here. I don’t know about you, but I feel people have forgot it happened or feel awkward talking about it. I’m not asking for overboard hugs and kisses just a how are coping or talk about mum. It’s nice to talk to someone who understands. Thank you for posting.

Hi Jolley,

Sorry for the late reply. How are you? 

I completely understand. It definitley does not get any easier. How i feel at the moment is that it's getting harder. I am exactly at that stage where people seem to have forgotten and expect me to be normal. This last week has been terrible, i've been crying in work and i dont know about you but im an ugly crier and cant hide it well my eyes are red and puffy for hours afterwards and people just ask me if i have hayfever, and like you its not that im looking for attention its just people dont seem to understand or expect that i am still grieving. 

I hope you are well

Hiya Rhirhi06, it's nice to hear from you again. I'm so sorry it has been hard this week. It's understandable considering what you have gone through. It's better to get it out, keeping it in will only make things worse. You shouldn't have to explain really at work, they should know and understand instead of putting it down to hayfever. They must have short memories, as it hasn't been long at all since your loss. I don't think people fully get it until they have gone through it themselves. I'm still trying my best to get on with things, but sometimes it is harder to pretend. I still feel as if it's getting worse as the months pass. A song or memory of her just starts me off crying and yes I'm the same messy cryer you are. Really wish I had some comforting words for you. I do feel this forum helps though just writing down how I feel and knowing someone is listening and understands xxx

Hi jolley

How are you? Hard time of year with all the cards and flowers, can’t avoid it. I don’t know about you but I am finding it harder this year, but things in my life have changed so much I almost feel guilty for somewhat moving on with the changes that are happening if you understand! I hope you are doing well, and hope to hear from you. 

Hiya rhirhi06,

Really nice to hear from you again.

I've been the same over mother's day. I thought maybe being the 2nd one without her would have been a little easier, but I am finding it really difficult.

I don't know if it's just me being sensitive but there just seems to be more and more adverts, emails etc about it this year. I feel like it's been rammed down my throat. I nearly cried in the card shop when the lady asked did I want any mother's day chocolates that were on offer, typically I needed to get a card for someone leaving at work, otherwise I would have stayed well clear.

With regrads to moving on, it's just life I suppose. You can't just stay still and I'm sure your mum wouldn't want you to do that or feel guilty about it either. Good and bad will happen and you can't change that, you'll never foget her or stop loving her so she's always with you. I do understad though. I'm one of those people who say not to worry or feel bad and then do it myself ha ha ha.

Thank you for messaging, I think I needed that more than I realised xxx

Hiya rhirhi06,

Really nice to hear from you again.

I've been the same over mother's day. I thought maybe being the 2nd one without her would have been a little easier, but I am finding it really difficult.

I don't know if it's just me being sensitive but there just seems to be more and more adverts, emails etc about it this year. I feel like it's been rammed down my throat. I nearly cried in the card shop when the lady asked did I want any mother's day chocolates that were on offer, typically I needed to get a card for someone leaving at work, otherwise I would have stayed well clear.

With regrads to moving on, it's just life I suppose. You can't just stay still and I'm sure your mum wouldn't want you to do that or feel guilty about it either. Good and bad will happen and you can't change that, you'll never foget her or stop loving her so she's always with you. I do understad though. I'm one of those people who say not to worry or feel bad and then do it myself ha ha ha.

Thank you for messaging, I think I needed that more than I realised xxx