Dear angelpink , sorry for your loss, my hubby is terminal at 53 ,a few months lefy and o am dreading the day when he passes away, its just a waiting game , we have been together for 29 years and there will just be me and our cat, i cant even imagine what i am about to go through. I have a goid family and friends but i am guessing i will want to be on my own , no matter how many people you have around i think i will want tobe on my own, already i am imagining what it will be like but i guess i havent even toucched the sides yet. Thinking of you .

Hi jules54

this last few weeks I’ve kept myself really busy Imake sure I have something to do every day even if it’s meeting someone for a coffee,decorating anything thatll help pass the time Today I’m having a bad day but I pray tomorrow will be better I ttry and take each day as it comes there is nothing else I can do and try to accept that this is real it’s happening however unbelievable it may seem I’m still trying to get my head round it.

My heart is broken and no matter what I do or I try to distract from it the pain is always there and today I can’t mask it,will this ever end ? 

Hi angelpink

Keeping busy always masks the real pain of grief but it is the only way forward that I found worked for me.  I do understand those bad days and I eventually learnt to accept that you cannot lose those you cherish and not feel the pain.  I must say I talked to anyone who would listen especially during the first twelve months.' I cried when I needed to and was fortunate to be able to cry with my children too as I also felt their pain (still do from time to time).  Accepting that it is really happening takes  time and cannot be rushed.  We all have very personal journies and different time scales but I hope in time the harsh pain  of loss recedes so that we can make use of the good memories to take us forward.  This is about where  am now and it's 3 years since hubby died.

Come and chat whenever you feel the need.  It is a case of baby steps to keep going and I did find the winter months harder for some reason.  Sending hugs.  Jules

Hi my husband passed away on 23rd Feb this year, he was 52! I know how you feel life is so crap at the moment  i am absolutely devastated!! Crying constantly! I have nothing to look forward to heartbroken.x

Hi,

i am so sorry to hear of your loss my heart aches for you xx

Hi I feel your pain I lost my husband on the 1st of November just gone to lung cancer that spread to his boned was diagnosed in May so lost without him just don't know what to do was married 29 years together 31 years how do we ever get over it cry ever day struggle to get up to go to work  don't know why I'm writing here but although I have family can't explain to them how I feel and if I here one more person tell me to be strong or you doing well I'm gonna scream    

Hi Children2 and justdeb64,

I really just wanted to welcome you to the forum (via angelpink's thread). I asked myself the question why I posted when I first joined (it was quite a while ago when my hubby was first diagnosed). I think I was just so desparate for support outside of family where there were so many emotional links.  I felt able to say what I felt without fear or shame (stupid to feel guilty but I did and got lots of understanding at my frustration and feelings).  I had never been an outwardly emotional person and was thrown into this whirlwind of grief I had no clue how to control.

  I understand that each person's journey is their own heartbreak though can also appreciate the pain within and that feeling that there is no point in trying to function as nothing makes a difference to the deep loss of a soulmate, best friend and partner/husband. Time has passed for me but I still feel as though much of my day to day life is 'proving I can do this' rather than a natural way of life.  I dont feel strong but am 'managing' because I do not have another choice (in my own mind I am honouring my man's memory by continuing to function; it is what he would want of me).

If it helps at al,l come and chat/rant here; I did and do!!  Jules54

Hi justdeb

when I feel down and it’s a particularly bad day I come on to this forum it give me comfort knowing there are people in the same situation as myself they know exactly how you are feeling and are sharing the same experiences and knowing that someone can give advice and reassurance helps tremendously 

hope you feel better for it too 

Dear KGay516

I have only just seen this repy sorry...thank you for your reply..and i am sorry for the loss of your daughter. my husband has now passed on 12 April, 49 days ago and today 1 June is my first day in work.  It is unbearable and i do cry alot and think of the past and everything i see reminds me of him and what we planned to do in the future.  I have never felt pain like it, we were together for 29 years and have no children, however i have good frends and family around me, but like you i do most of my crying behind closed doors, well i try to....i dont want people to get sick of me and feel awkward.  How hard people try, unless you have been through this yourself, they have no idea what we here on this site are feeling.

I just had to get out of the house all the time when i was off work, drive round and round and find places to go, make arrangements to see people but then sometimes cancel because i wasnt up to it.  My hustand has cancer 4 times but this time on 10 Jan18 he was terminal, but we didnt discuss this , although i tried to ask him is there anything he wanted to talk about, i dont think he could admit to himself he only had a few months and passed away in a hospice after 4 weeks , although he was only expected to live a few days, he was so strong and determined , i watched him die. he loved the sun and for 2 weeksin the hospice it rained then sun came out, we wheeled him outside in his bed and the sun shone on his face, that was the last time he spoke, he was my best friend and we did everything together, but i am trying to be strong and i am going out tonight to our regular pub with some friends which i have been putting off...not sure how long i will last....you have had to cope with the death of your husband and your daughter but you have inspired me today, God Bless you xxxx