Hello Jbains, Thankyou so much for your reply. I have been to clan a couple times but others made me feel as if I shouldn't need counciling and that I should cope on my own. I haven't thought about going through my gp so I might try that, thankyou. I am so sorry to hear about your mother and your illness, sending all my love. My friend had a rare type of clear cell sarcoma and after normal treatment did not help, she enrolled herself into a trial drug programme in order to help others find a cure. I am forever proud of her for that brave decision.

That is extremely commendable what your friend did. You need to do what you feel is right for you. It's nice of others to give their thoughts and try to help but ultimately only you will know what is going to be best. I have always been extremely strong and always in control - always the one propping others up and giving strength. That all went out the window last year. I never even thought about ever needing counselling ever in my life. But I wasn't coping and rather than it becoming a serious problem I decided to nip it in the bud and have counselling. I haven't publicised it to family and friends but I'm giving it a chance. Thank you for your well wishes. Talking to the right people will help you face this and move on. I'm afraid grief is something that is very difficult. We just learn to deal with it better over the years. It's ok to admit you need help but do it for yourself. Be strong by taking control of it. I hope you do get to the point where you do she'd the odd tear but remember your friend with a big smile. Take it easy.