Hi Chloe, Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in the way you are feeling. My mum was diagnosed with a brain tumour March 2016, she passed away July 2016, and I think I felt so numb so such a long time and have spent so long helping others In my family to grieve that I haven’t done it myself. My mum left a massive hole in my life the day she went..I have 2 children and it really hit my 12 year old. I spent so much time getting him through it all that I hadn’t let myself grieve. I cared for my mum the whole way through I saw her ups and downs, and much like your mum she never complained once..I watched her disappear before my eyes, one day she was walking the next she wasn’t, then she was bed bound and gradually lost the ability to swallow.. and then she eventually went into a coma. It has been 18 months and I have only just started to really grieve myself.. so please if you need to grieve then do.. I seemed to have left it so long myself.. and much like you.. I’ve turned into half the person I was before she died, I’ve lost my spark.. I don’t really stop to talk to my friends anymore when I go to collect my son from school.. I don’t want to really go out.. and feel so alone.. So please don’t think you are alone, there are so many of us that are going through the same thing, and it’s not only grieving for our mums, but dealing with the trauma that has scolded us seeing them passing away before our eyes and nothing we can do or have done done but made them comfortable. Xx