My first Christmas without my wonderful mother it’s so hard I feel 4 u all who’s going through this. at the moment I’m trying 2 carry on as normal 4 my little boy and hubby it’s so hard 2 try and hold tears back . This is first year I be cooking Christmas dinner for us every Christmas we always spend it with my mother and father this time so different I haven slept I just keep thinking about my mother and With Christmas it’s made it worst . I keep thinking I never going see her again i keep busy because if I’m not busy my head start racing I’m reliving everything what happened . I know my mother want as 2 be happy I’m trying but it’s so hard I just need my mother here . I’m doing what she asked me 2 do is 2 look after my father and that what I will always do . But being happy so hard :(