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:( First Christmas Without My Mother ):

Gemini39
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My first Christmas without my wonderful mother it’s so hard I feel 4 u all who’s going through this. at the moment I’m trying 2 carry on as normal 4 my little boy and hubby it’s so hard 2 try and hold tears back . This is first year I be cooking Christmas dinner for us every Christmas we always spend it with my mother and father this time so different I haven slept I just keep thinking about my mother and With Christmas it’s made it worst . I keep thinking I never going see her again i keep busy because if I’m not busy my head start racing I’m reliving everything what happened . I know my mother want as 2 be happy I’m trying but it’s so hard I just need my mother here . I’m doing what she asked me 2 do is 2 look after my father and that what I will always do . But being happy so hard :( 

  • Offline in reply to Gemini39

    So sorry you are having to go through this.  The first Christmas without your mum is always hard to bear - after all you have a lifetime of memories.  Special wishes and hugs to everyone who is going through this today.

  • Offline in reply to Annieliz

    Thank u have nice Christmas take care x 

  • Offline

    I’m so sorry to read this, and such a sad time for you, especially at Christmas. I hope you were able to enjoy Christmas with you family and father, it will get easier in time I promise, I lost my mother 24 years ago,  I try to remember the happy times we had together when I am feeling sad. 

    I hope you are feeling a little better today.  xxx

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    Dear Gemini

    I totally understand how you feel, this was my first Christmas without my Dad.   It's been so hard.  I can't tell you how hard, but I expect you know.  It hit me harder than I  thought it would to be honest.  My Dad used to come and see me every Christmas day for lunch.  It was okay in the morning but then as lunch approached it got harder, and no one came.  The silence was deafening.  I don't have children but a husband and dog but like you I was fighting tears back.  Take solace in your husband and little boy, I know my dog cuddled me no end and I know that he misses his Grandad also.  Its the finality of it all that gets to you, that you are never going to see them again in this life.

    On Boxing Day we all went for a walk in Dad's favourite park.  It made me feel closer to him somehow.  I felt a little better then.  Also I read a book in the afternoon about Dad and his working life, again that made me feel a bit more connected.  I just feel so sad and miss the very essence of him.  I am hoping that it has to get better.

     

    love and hugs

    fergam xxx

  • Offline in reply to janrose

    Thank u 4 answering I’m ok I have my good and bad day hope u had nice Christmas . Take care x 

  • Offline in reply to fer1

    I’m sorry 2 read about u dad 2 my heart is broken :( Christmas Day was blu 2 me I just kept so busy I didn’t have time 2 think . I was so exhausted and tired when it was all over . Yesterday I was ok but 2 day because my hubby gone back 2 work my head racing I just miss here so much I can’t even go up cemetery because when I went up there last it killed me I feel so guilty I can’t bring myself 2 go up there . It hurts so much :( hope u ok and thanks take care x 

  • Offline in reply to Gemini39
    Hi Gemini you are welcome. You are not alone. There are lots of us going through it this year and will be into 2018. I hope it helps knowing that you are not alone. Sometimes you feel like you are going crazy when you miss them so much. Keep strong though and know that your mum will always be with you, no matter what. I know it's not much comfort though sometimes, when you miss them physically you just want to see them and hug them again. Keep going for your family though, and please keep posting we can help one another through these tough times. Big hugs and you take care too xxxxxxx

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