Hello Skye.  Your first Christmas without your father must be a bit worrying and I hope and expect that you and your family will find it a mixture of sadness and happiness.  Sadness because your dad is not here to share Christmas unlike previous years and happiness because you still have each other and can talk and laugh about previous Christmases when your dad was with you.  15 is young to lose a parent; it is a time of your life when lots of things are happening and when it would have been so good to talk about them with your dad.  I know that other people cannot wave a magic wand and make you feel better; over Christmas families who have lost someone feel that the rest of the world is happy while they are suffering.  From reading the letters in this forum I know there will be many people who will find Christmas difficult.  Make your dad a part of Christmas by talking about him and perhaps putting up extra photos of him.  My best wishes to you.