It's getting so difficult to cope

These last few days for me have suddenly been so difficult. Up until a few days ago, although unwell, my mum was still able to talk with us and move around (to an extent). Now she is not even responsive. She just lies there, half-asleep. Hanging onto life.

And I think, how on earth is that my mum? She shouldn't be confined in a hospital bed, trapped in her own dying body. It's just so unfair. I wonder too, why some people have to suffer so damn much. She lost her own mum when she also was very young. And now she has to go through the same thing? How is that fair? How can anyone deserve that? I just don't understand the point of so much suffering, and if there is a god, I really hate him.

After visiting her today with my dad and brother, we went out to the shops. It just felt so wrong, though. We are broken without her. And I can't even put into words how jealous I am when I see other girls out with their mums. It's what my mum should be doing with me. Why is she the one who has been given a life sentence? 

I think its been nearly 3 weeks since my dad told me her cancer is back, and nothing can be done to save her. But for a while, while it was awful, it was incomprehendable. Now, seeing her lying in bed, so fragile and hardly even there, it has destroyed me. My eyes keep welling up with tears and even as I write this I want to scream and cry at the world.

My heart is breaking for my mum. I think in these last 3 years, since her diagnosis, I always thought she would get better. I knew it would be a tough time, but I thought we would all get through it. And for it all to have to end like this, I just don't even know what to do anymore. I wish a miracle would happen. I wish she would wake up and miraculously everything could be fine. I miss her so so so much, and she isn't even gone yet. I just don't know how to keep going. A year from now, 10 years from now. I just don't see it being any better.

  • I hate cancer too. It's always been something that happens to other people, and then to be so directly impacted by it is still something I can't quite comprehend. I wish none of us had to experience this.

    Talk to the nurses, they should be able to give him medication for the pain. My mum has been on a lot of morphine. It's better for him to be comfortable.

    So sorry we have to go through this x

  • I'm so sorry to read all these heartbreaking accounts of loss, it's interesting jess that you say your already grieving before the actual loss of your dear mum! I'm currently beside my husband in our living room, he's asleep in his hospital bed and today I reluctantly put up a few decorations for Christmas! I miss him and our physical relationship, even though he is still here. We will share one last Christmas together but his diagnosis of grade 4 GBM will ensure that I will be a widow at 50 in the new year. I feel guilty for the intermittent normality, then struck by such grief with what I call a reality punch .. I end up in tears beside him every day .. greiving the person I am watching fade away .. looking after him is hard .. it's the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, and reading here I know that I am only one of amazing carers who look after loved ones.. who knows where the strength comes from, but it does come.. And while people without cancer will celebrate Christmas joyfully! Those who are unlucky enough to have an unwanted guest will have christmasses of a different kind. Keep strong and know your not alone!
  • All I can say Jess is up its so difficult & I'm finding it very difficult some times