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How do I come to terms with the suffering? Please help.

AmandaPA
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My mum passed this year aged 59 after a 10 month battle with cancer.

I am really struggling to cope with the suffering she had to endure over these 10 months, particularly at the end of her life when I know she was in a lot of pain. I was just wondering how do I get past this? To hear at least she is at peace now and not suffering anymore doesnt really help me as I feel that she should not have had to suffer this horrific pain the first place and in a way she is still suffering as she is not here with us all. It really haunts me that she was scared to die at the end. She was literally the most sweetest kindest person in the world so I can't understand how something so horrific happened to someone so amazing? It is such a massive loss and she didn't deserve any of it. It makes me so angry and so sad. Any words of advice would be greatly appreciated. x

Parents
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    I wonder the same thing. My dad is suffering unspeakable pain and misery for a few months and getting worse everyday (late stages of prostate cancer) and I don't think I'll ever get over his suffering.

    If it was a dog, nobody would allow him to suffer this way. It would be animal cruelty. But humans have to suffer, isn't that twisted? I just wish he would die soon, I can't endure his suffering.

    I think the only advice here is to just wait and time will make things better for you. I do believe in a distant future humanity will get kinder and people will be allowed to choose if they want to die with dignity, anywhere

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    I wonder the same thing. My dad is suffering unspeakable pain and misery for a few months and getting worse everyday (late stages of prostate cancer) and I don't think I'll ever get over his suffering.

    If it was a dog, nobody would allow him to suffer this way. It would be animal cruelty. But humans have to suffer, isn't that twisted? I just wish he would die soon, I can't endure his suffering.

    I think the only advice here is to just wait and time will make things better for you. I do believe in a distant future humanity will get kinder and people will be allowed to choose if they want to die with dignity, anywhere

Children
  • Offline in reply to Cynthia_zed
    I am very sorry to hear that your dad is suffering too. I don’t think there is any way to ever accept the suffering. As someone mentioned here the only thing to try and do now is to focus on living your life as they would want you to, even though this will be hard. I wish I could say something to give you some peace, all I will say is at the end I did everything I could to make my mum more comfortable – I stayed with her overnight so my dad could get some rest, I gave her pedicures and foot massages, I brought her in her favourite drink. Whatever you can do to make them more comfortable, it is such a painful journey though. I think part of it is getting over the shock of it all too. xx

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