My mum had just been given the 5 year all clear from breast cancer, but then began to feel unwell and it all went downhill from there.
she was admitted to hospital twice in a short space of time and it was thought she had fibrosis.. eventually, after much deliberation it was decided that surgery was the only way, but it came with risks. They said there was more chance of her dying during surgery than surviving, so we had to say our goodbyes in case the worst happened. The most heartbreaking and awful time.
Thankfully my mum pulled through the surgery and the surgeon came to let us know she was ok and that everything had gone to plan, however, there was no fibrosis, it was wide spread cancer. The surgeon was upbeat about it and said it was treatable but would be a hard time for our mum. She’d been through it before and so we knew she’d get through it again..
3 days later, she passed away. 29th July 2017.
I’m absolutely devastated and feel as though I cannot cope without my mum. She was the best mum I could wish for, who loved my sister and I so much.
I’m a 36 year old man, with a partner of 16yrs and 2 young children so I have my own little family but my mum was my go to, my friend, my support , my security. And now she’s gone.
I’m not religious, but there must be something after death, I can’t cope with the thoughts that, that is it, I’m never going to see her again.
To to be honest I’m rambling, I can’t get out what I want to say, I’m not doing her justice or her experience.
i just need to know these feelings of sadness, guilt, lonelyness will go away soon. It’s the hardest time of my life and although I have my sister to talk to, I don’t want to burden her, when she’s suffering too..
Not a day passes by that I haven’t cried. I have moments of wanting to be with her the only way possible, but I couldn’t ever hurt my family in that way..
