Feeling so sad, I just want my mum back.

 

My mum had just been given the 5 year all clear from breast cancer, but then began to feel unwell and it all went downhill from there.

she was admitted to hospital twice in a short space of time and it was thought she had fibrosis.. eventually, after much deliberation it was decided that surgery was the only way, but it came with risks. They said there was more chance of her dying during surgery than surviving, so we had to say our goodbyes in case the worst happened. The most heartbreaking and awful time. 

Thankfully my mum pulled through the surgery and the surgeon came to let us know she was ok and that everything had gone to plan, however, there was no fibrosis, it was wide spread cancer.  The surgeon was upbeat about it and said it was treatable but would be a hard time for our mum. She’d been through it before and so we knew she’d get through it again..

3 days later, she passed away. 29th July 2017.

I’m absolutely devastated and feel as though I cannot cope without my mum. She was the best mum I  could wish for, who loved my sister and I so much. 

I’m a 36 year old man, with a partner of 16yrs and 2 young children so I have my own little family but my mum was my go to, my friend, my support , my security. And now she’s gone.

I’m not religious, but there must be something after death, I can’t cope with the thoughts that, that is it, I’m never going to see her again. 

To to be honest I’m rambling, I can’t get out what I want to say, I’m not doing her justice or her experience.

i just need to know these feelings of sadness, guilt, lonelyness will go away soon.  It’s the hardest time of my life and although I have my sister to talk to, I don’t want to burden her, when she’s suffering too.. 

Not a day passes by that I haven’t cried.  I have moments of wanting to be with her the only way possible, but I couldn’t ever hurt my family in that way..

 

 

Parents
  • Hi 

    oh bless ya I lost my mum on the 11th September 4 weeks tomorrow, still feels very unreal at times. My mum was my best friend, and the sense of loss is well I can’t really describe in words it’s that intense, I cry all time when I am alone with my own thoughts.

    I the same as you hope the feeling lessen over time and become bearable. My thought are with you and prays xx

  • Hi skyrock,  

    the feelings don’t appear to be any less at the moment, not a day passes by when I don’t think of my mum. I have a voicemails from my mum and clips of her that I keep listening to and watching. I get in a bit of a state but somehow it makes me feel better after having a cry.  Probably not a good thing to be doing though. 

    Hope you are well and coping x 

  • Hi Sean

    Everyday is different as are my emotions to be honest, I went back to work last week which I feel it has help with just trying to get back to normal, but am not as she is still not here. Everything reminds me of her, things I do like Christmas is coming, we always went somewhere together shopping, I use to get frustrated with her for taking forever to choose presents lol god we use to laugh and talk I could go on and on but it breaks my heart knowing we not gonna do it this year or ever again, we are still all in the very early stages of our grief and will take long time if ever to cope and deal with it, hugs and love to you all.

     

     

  • I know exactly what you mean.  I just want my mummy back sitting on her sofa in her red cardigan, her red bandanna.  I want her back in the flesh.  Nothing else seems to work for me.  Nothing.  My life here on earth is over but my heart is still ticking thats all.  Since my mummy passed 75% of me died too.  

    And there is nothing anyone can say to me that will make that percentage in me that has died come back alive.  Life is now miserable, energy around me is flat on note 1 .  I feel dead myself.  Can someone relate to this please awnser.

     

    Serge N

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  • I know exactly what you mean.  I just want my mummy back sitting on her sofa in her red cardigan, her red bandanna.  I want her back in the flesh.  Nothing else seems to work for me.  Nothing.  My life here on earth is over but my heart is still ticking thats all.  Since my mummy passed 75% of me died too.  

    And there is nothing anyone can say to me that will make that percentage in me that has died come back alive.  Life is now miserable, energy around me is flat on note 1 .  I feel dead myself.  Can someone relate to this please awnser.

     

    Serge N

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