Feeling so sad, I just want my mum back.

 

My mum had just been given the 5 year all clear from breast cancer, but then began to feel unwell and it all went downhill from there.

she was admitted to hospital twice in a short space of time and it was thought she had fibrosis.. eventually, after much deliberation it was decided that surgery was the only way, but it came with risks. They said there was more chance of her dying during surgery than surviving, so we had to say our goodbyes in case the worst happened. The most heartbreaking and awful time. 

Thankfully my mum pulled through the surgery and the surgeon came to let us know she was ok and that everything had gone to plan, however, there was no fibrosis, it was wide spread cancer.  The surgeon was upbeat about it and said it was treatable but would be a hard time for our mum. She’d been through it before and so we knew she’d get through it again..

3 days later, she passed away. 29th July 2017.

I’m absolutely devastated and feel as though I cannot cope without my mum. She was the best mum I  could wish for, who loved my sister and I so much. 

I’m a 36 year old man, with a partner of 16yrs and 2 young children so I have my own little family but my mum was my go to, my friend, my support , my security. And now she’s gone.

I’m not religious, but there must be something after death, I can’t cope with the thoughts that, that is it, I’m never going to see her again. 

To to be honest I’m rambling, I can’t get out what I want to say, I’m not doing her justice or her experience.

i just need to know these feelings of sadness, guilt, lonelyness will go away soon.  It’s the hardest time of my life and although I have my sister to talk to, I don’t want to burden her, when she’s suffering too.. 

Not a day passes by that I haven’t cried.  I have moments of wanting to be with her the only way possible, but I couldn’t ever hurt my family in that way..

 

 

Parents
  • Hello Sir, I feel your pain since not even a month has passed since my own mother died of this cancer.

    on 13th of September, I lost my Mother( Best Friend/Guardian/My Happiness/My Supporter in Every Matter) to this relatively rare of form of cancer called ACC (Adenoid Cystic Carcinoma). A Tragedy that I never could anticipate nor was prepared for it. By the time we found out about cancer, it was already a Stage 4 breast cancer that had spread to her liver covered most of it. The oncologist said she'd last a maximum of 2.5-3 months since the stage is too advance for any diagnose to make any dent. Despite knowing the inevitable I tried any option I could come across Chemotherapy/Homeopathy/Strict Diet/ Hakeems and Even Dam Darood to somehow delay if not decline the inevitable but sadly all those methods went in vain and all I gained were 2 more months for her. Contrary to what the oncologist predicted, she lasted for 5 months instead of 3.

    She was 55 when she passed away while im her only son aged 23 who lost his mom. Now I miss her everyday and im too young to face all those social problems and responsibilites and im very depressed, she was with me in literally every matter of life, I feel like I lost a part of me that i would never recover. Id live an incomplete life

Reply
  • Hello Sir, I feel your pain since not even a month has passed since my own mother died of this cancer.

    on 13th of September, I lost my Mother( Best Friend/Guardian/My Happiness/My Supporter in Every Matter) to this relatively rare of form of cancer called ACC (Adenoid Cystic Carcinoma). A Tragedy that I never could anticipate nor was prepared for it. By the time we found out about cancer, it was already a Stage 4 breast cancer that had spread to her liver covered most of it. The oncologist said she'd last a maximum of 2.5-3 months since the stage is too advance for any diagnose to make any dent. Despite knowing the inevitable I tried any option I could come across Chemotherapy/Homeopathy/Strict Diet/ Hakeems and Even Dam Darood to somehow delay if not decline the inevitable but sadly all those methods went in vain and all I gained were 2 more months for her. Contrary to what the oncologist predicted, she lasted for 5 months instead of 3.

    She was 55 when she passed away while im her only son aged 23 who lost his mom. Now I miss her everyday and im too young to face all those social problems and responsibilites and im very depressed, she was with me in literally every matter of life, I feel like I lost a part of me that i would never recover. Id live an incomplete life

Children
  • Hi salman, 

    i hope you are finding things easier to cope with now time is passing by. I’d completely understand if you aren’t as sometimes I feel the same. 

    I feel I’ve lost a part of me as well, maybe even a little depressed so as we all seem to be experiencing the same feelings it’s clearly part of the process that we have been forced to go through. 

    I hope time is a healer and all that, but for now, just know you aren’t alone in your thoughts.

     

    sean