Missing my mum

hi everyone 

so my mum died last Monday from lung cancer, from been diagnosed to death was 3 weeks unbelievable really. Yesterday was the funeral which may I add lovely just the way my mum wanted. I only decided at the very last minute to go see my mum in the chapel of rest, broke my heart, but glad I went to say goodbye and give her a kiss. So am here now not really knowing what to do with myself, really don't feel I am ready to deal with been back at work, I just don't know how I am going to cope with not seeing or speaking to my mum again ever and when I think about it which is most of the time it sends me into panic mode. I know there is people on this forum dealing with the same issues have you any advice ??

 

Thanks 

skyrock 

  • Hi Skyrock

    I am so sorry for your loss.

    I really haven't any advice but just wanted to offer my support. I am in the exact same boat as you.

    My mum passed away on the 4th Sept, 17 days after diagnosis. I came here to vent my grief as I don't want to burden my family with it. 

    I am due back at work on Monday but really don't know if I am ready. I know I need to get on with life but its so hard right now. 

    It doesn't feel real most of the time. Then reality hits home and I am just heartbroken. Like you, the fact that I won't speak to, hear, feel my mum again is just unbearable. 

    Wishing you and your family all the best at this time.

    Lou x

  • Hi Skyrock

    I am sorry for your loss. Your post resonated with me and I just wanted to reach out.  My mum passed away in January after a 5 year battle with blood cancer.  Her treatment came to an end last October so we both knew we were on a countdown. Having some time to get things sorted and be at her side in her final weeks brings me a great sense of comfort. It doesn't however make the pain any less. What I have found is that the world keeps turning even when I don't want to jump on for the ride. There will be random moments when something will just grab me and pull me off balance and I'll have a wobble.  Because some time has passed, others have moved on with their lives, which is fair enough. This can however make it harder to reach out and show or say I am having a moment and can be particularly difficult if I'm in the supermarket or on the bus. The only advice I can give is weep when you need to, scream when you want to and talk to friends/family or even people on this site who will understand.  I have found the poem 'She Is Gone' really soothing when I am having a bad day and as a mother myself, I know that I'd want my kids to remember me with smiles rather than tears. I wish you strength on your journey. x

  • Hi Skyrock

    I to lost my mum to lung cancer just over a month ago. Its driving me mad. I am just looking for someone to take the pain away. I never thought l would feel so lost and hurt and out of control. I don't know if l can live without my mum but know thats grief talking. I have my dad who is suffering more than me and my sister who feels the same as me. And my husband is supportive but its not helping my head process the huge loss going on inside me and l would do anything to talk to her again. I keep looking at her texts. I don't know what the answer is but l.am here going through the same. I am so sorry its so hard. 

    I hate cancer and l hate the doctors as l blame them to. Maybe thats just grief. But l know how you feel if you want to talk 

    L

  • So sorry to hear about your mom it was my moms funeral yesterday was so hard knowing I won’t see her again but the one thing that keeps me going is knowing she’s no longer in pain and she reunited with my dad.  I went back to work just last week it’s wat mom would have wanted and I’m so glad I did has if I had left it i wouldn’t want to  go back. Life has to go on but I know my mom will be looking down on us all and I hope we are doing her proud x