just lost husband to stage 4 cancer

hello, everyone, I am from New York and came across this website that looks so helpful, on August 18th the love of my life passed away from stage 4 lung cancer that had spread to his liver, bones, and brain. This is the most painful thing I have ever gone through in my life, I feel so half empty without him. The crazy thing about it is we found out about cancer on August 1st by the 18th he passed away. Everything was such a shock and still is, it's killing me inside not having him here with me especially at night. I look at our four children and the thought that he won't be around for their growing up is unbearable. You know the symptoms did not start to show until July when he started complaining of his back, right shoulder, and arm, he went into the hospital on July 31st and on Aug 1st we found out about cancer, I thought he had months to a year, not two weeks can anyone else who has gone through this with a loved one please tell me how they deal and cope with this because I feel like I am going into depression I cry every day, I miss and love him so much we were together 16 years, I will never have another man like him  

Parents
  • My dad got diagnosed on the 4th Decmeber with lung cancer and died on the 31st Decemeber.  It's been the most horrendous thing I've ever gone through in my life.  Theres no right or wrong way to deal with it. Every body is different.  I work on a ship and went back to work 2 weeks after. Ended up coming back early as I was having anxiety attacks.    Since coming back I've joined the gym and been talking to a counsellor both of which I find have been a great help.   I was put on beta blockers for the anxiety but have pretty much managed to get off them after joining the gym.  People say exercise is the best medicine and I'm starting to believe it. I feel much better in myself. That doesn't mean I dont miss my dad every day.  Of course I do.  I love him too pieces and theres a huge hole in my life but he wouldn't want to see me the way I have been recently.    I guess I'm saying that exercise is a great help.   Take care of yourself is the most important thing.  I've felt guilty smiling since my dad passed away. Like I shouldn't be happy.  He wouldn't want that.  

Reply
  • My dad got diagnosed on the 4th Decmeber with lung cancer and died on the 31st Decemeber.  It's been the most horrendous thing I've ever gone through in my life.  Theres no right or wrong way to deal with it. Every body is different.  I work on a ship and went back to work 2 weeks after. Ended up coming back early as I was having anxiety attacks.    Since coming back I've joined the gym and been talking to a counsellor both of which I find have been a great help.   I was put on beta blockers for the anxiety but have pretty much managed to get off them after joining the gym.  People say exercise is the best medicine and I'm starting to believe it. I feel much better in myself. That doesn't mean I dont miss my dad every day.  Of course I do.  I love him too pieces and theres a huge hole in my life but he wouldn't want to see me the way I have been recently.    I guess I'm saying that exercise is a great help.   Take care of yourself is the most important thing.  I've felt guilty smiling since my dad passed away. Like I shouldn't be happy.  He wouldn't want that.  

Children
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