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Lost my dad

BethR1
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Hi all

I lost my dad yesterday after a short battle with aml, he was diagnosed after being rushed to hospital on the 1st of March this year.  He then spent the next 3 months in hospital having 2 rounds of intensive chemo and fighting infection after infection.  He was moved to the hospice Tuesday this week and passed yesterday with my mum, myself and my sister by his side.

I feel so lost.... I know he is better off now as he was in a sorry state towards the end, but I just wasn't ready for him to go.  I am glad I was there with him and he knew how loved he was, but I also am struggling with seeing my dad die.  I spent every single day by his side whilst he was away from and woke up this morning feeling like I had no purpose in life.  I would have done the hospital run every day for eternity if it meant I got to keep him.

I miss him so much

Beth

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    I'm sorry for your loss. I've been through this a year and a half ago and it is still so hard to face life without my beloved wife but I tell you, your dad will live deep in your heart and soul and, though life might never be the same from now on, this will help you carry on. My heart goes out to you.

    Regards

    Joe Canelas

  • Offline in reply to Canelas

    Joe, thank you for your message and I sorry for the loss of your wife.

    Your words mean a lot x

  • Offline in reply to BethR1

    Thanks BethR1. Yours too!! 

  • Offline in reply to Canelas

    We had dads funeral yesterday and it was a beautiful service.  I just didn't feel ready to say goodbye, I felt like it was someone else's funeral.  I have woken up today and I just feel nothing, I don't feel sad, I don't feel happy, just numb I suppose.

    I still can't get my head around the fact he is gone xxx

  • Offline in reply to BethR1

    Hi beth

    its just to sad I'm dreading my dads funeral on the 14th July just want it over with. I feel the same I cant believe my big strong dad isn't here. I know he's in a better place but I just want him back. Nothing prepares us for this even when you know it's going to happen it still is the most hardest thing ever. It truly helps being able to talk to someone else going through the same as you know it's normal to feel the way we do

     

    god bless

     

    mary x

  • Offline in reply to BethR1

    Well, when something this big happens to us, we feel numb for a period of time. The funeral is the moment when we seem to be half way to nowhere. The fact is so recent we still don't really understand what's is going on. It is something like we're dreaming. This is normal. For me the six first months were the terrible ones. Then day to day life will get more room in your thoughts but I can assure that you will think of him every single day. I still do. I am here BethR1 whenever you feel the need to talk. xx

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  • Offline in reply to BethR1

    Well, when something this big happens to us, we feel numb for a period of time. The funeral is the moment when we seem to be half way to nowhere. The fact is so recent we still don't really understand what's is going on. It is something like we're dreaming. This is normal. For me the six first months were the terrible ones. Then day to day life will get more room in your thoughts but I can assure that you will think of him every single day. I still do. I am here BethR1 whenever you feel the need to talk. xx

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