Hello andyh,

On behalf of all the team here at Cancer Chat, I want to offer our sincere condolences on the passing of your wife

I can't begin to imagine what a difficult time this is for you and I hope you will find some comfort here on Cancer Chat.

There is a link from our website I want to share with you with information on coping with grief here. I hope this helps.

Thinking of you at this difficult time,

Renata, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hi Andy, I'm sorry to see you've lost your wife. I struggled with panic attacks after losing my dad 3 days after diagnosis. I was so scared to go to sleep as I thought I would die too. I guess the only thing that really helped was time. I was at my worst 5 weeks after losing him. It's very early days for you. Try not to let your mind race ahead too far from now. Put your thoughts into boxes and deal with them one at a time. There is professional help available also. I also found coming on here very therapeutic. You see you a lot of people in the same boat, some worse off some better all in all we've all lost somebody we love. Or, have somebody fighting right now. Do you have any family or close friends around to talk to? x

Hello Andy,

What a terrible thing to have happened to you and your dear wife. I am so sorry for your loss. Life for you right night now is a nightmare. 

Try and spend time with any family or friends nearby. Cry as much as you need to. Sleep if you can, and wrap up well and go outside and walk every day. Walking is good I find. 

My dad is dying from prostate cancer and my mothers world is falling apart. His wish is to die at home and she is nursing him 24/7 by herself.(my sister and I who are in our 50;s) each are doing all we can to help. 

My mother in law died suddenly last sept, and father in law went into nursing home with dementia in Jan after attempt to end his life. 

I think Andy you must take life one day at a time. Don't expect too much from yourself as its early days yet. If you have a job then go to work, as it will act as a distraction. 

This is a totally new experience for you, cancer is a horrible thing. It has taken your wife from you, but it cannot take your memories, hang onto them. 

Time is a good healer, I know that's not much consolation right now. Look after yourself and keep the chin up. 

You are going to get through this.

take care.

xx