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Can't move on from that day!

HannahG
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I lost my beautiful mum last may, she had fought cancer for just over 4 years and it came as such a shock when she died. Just writing this makes me want to break down and scream. i'm still very angry and obviously heartbroken and i just cant move on with my life. Even though a part of me doesn't want to move on! I feel guilty when i laugh and have fun which is ridiculous because i know my mum would be going mad at me for being like that. We had such a strong and wonderful bond and we were eachothers favourite people. I'm truely broken and devastated and dont see me ever coming to terms with the loss of my mum. I just dont know how people do it!! 

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    Hi Hannah

    I'm so sorry about your mum. It is important not to be too hard on yourself and remember that everyone is different, will cope in their own way and grief takes as long as it takes. It does sound to me though like you could use some support, or maybe some grief counselling to help you process what you have been through. Have you thought about speaking to your GP?

    The loss you have experienced is huge - i cant imagine loosing my favourite person - so i am not surprised you feel the way you do. I'm glad that you are talking about it and your feelings though, as that can only bring positive things. My thoughts are with you and i sincerely hope that you are able to mend your broken heart and live the life your mum would want you to, she would want you to experience joy and happiness.

    Take care x

  • Offline in reply to manicomio1208

    Thank you so much for the reply, it means a lot I have been to the GP I'm actually on anti depressants as it had gotten really bad before Christmas. I couldnt even bring myself to get out of bed or do anything. And I still have days like that now, I'm supposed to be seeing a counsellor soon to but when you ask for one at the doctors it can take months to be seen I've been waiting 8 weeks..and after your first appointment they don't guarantee a second one not long after so it could again be weeks till im seen again. So it's pretty useless, I'm trying to push myself forward and focus on new things to keep me going. XXXX

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    Reading your post was like reading my mind, I'm 26 and lost my mum in Feb she was my best friend, biggest fan, favourite person and I can't function without her it's horrible. I'm on Anti Depressants too which seem to have helped in just giving me the energy to actually get out of bed but they are far from happy pills like everyone says. Just wanted to let you know your not alone xx

  • Offline in reply to alera90

    Aw thank you Yes that so true, they help you to try get up and do each day and be atleast a little functional but it is still so hard. And i still have those days where I can't bare it at all..it's such a horrible and hard place to be in. 

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