My mum just died

My mum died after such a short illness,her first symptom of cancer was pain in her groin area and within a week she couldn't walk. This happened on 1st December 2016 and she died in a hospice in Costa del Sol on February 18th 2017. It turns out she had stage 4 kidney cancer that had spread to her bones, fracturing her leg and pelvis. Hard to believe that in November she had no knowledge of her illness or symptoms. She was an active 72 year old who looked younger. She had nails and eyebrows done regularly, hair highlighted and was full of energy.She didn't lose weight, lose her appetite or seem tired. No clues to her illness. Then suddenly 1st December her bones suddenly became increasingly painful and,by 12th Dec she couldn't sit up and was admitted to hospital in horrendous pain. We were given false hope that she could live few years with cancer although I doubt her fractures caused by tumours could heal and her qualify of life would be poor. As,my parents live near Malaga I flew over and back several times ove past 10 weeks. Sadly she deteriorated rapidly and died peacefully on Feb 18 2017. Now I'm home though looking back it all happened so quickly that I keep thinking it hasn't happened and my mum is still alive in Spain. I think with her living away it's easy to forget...then I suddenly remember and get upset. Half the family, my dad, brother, sister in law and,2 nieces live in Spain and when I'm there I'm devastated. But at home i feel guilty for forgetting its happening and that my mum has died.,doesn't feel real. Why??

  • Hello. I'm so sorry for your loss. When my dad died it didn't really sink in for 3 months. He worked abroad months at a time. I cried when he passed and at the funeral but for 3 months I just got on with life. Then one day it hit me I'd never see him again. I screamed and cried for hours every night for months. You never get over loosing a parent you just get used to it gradually. My dad was my rock and now my mum has terminal breast cancer I'm so scared of losing her. I'm trying to blank out the thoughts of what's going to happen. I'm trying to stay strong for my kids otherwise I'll end up unable to look after anyone. Also I had breast cancer 3 years ago quite aggressive high risk of coming back and should I be saying this I'm scared for my kids. Sorry for being so down. My mum is the only person apart from my kids that I can truly trust and has always been there for me. She's my best friend.
  • Thank you for taking time to reply. You have been through and are going though so much emotional turmoil with your mums illness and your own. Omg my thoughts are with you. What a strong woman you are though to cope with so much at once. You are an inspiration to your kids and others and I pray your mum passes peacefully and that you make a full recovery. Stay in touch if you need to talk. X