Hi LauraLu I totally feel the same. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer 2 years ago and was treated with hormone tablets which we thought was working, then in August she was told it had spread to her bones. At this point they tried chemo but after one session she was taken into hospital with breathing difficulties. In November we were told that they could put her on stronger hormone tablets to help. From then she went downhill pretty quickly and the last few months were awful. From a lady who loved nothing more than walking in the countryside to a lady who struggled round the house with a walking frame. She managed to make it through Christmas and was taken in hospital New Years Day and had pneumonia. She was in for a week, home for a week then got the dreaded phone call from the District Nurse saying she had deteriorated . We had her funeral 2 weeks ago. The last 6 months have been a blur and i feel so lost without my mom. Like you i have 2 young children and find that in a way that helps as you have to be strong for them. I have days when the slightest thing starts me off.............. Someone said to me that grief never goes away, grief is like waves and at first they are huge and come without warning but as time goes on they get smaller and are more manageable ..... but it is just so hard to imagine a life without your mom isn't it. They are always there for a chat, to help , for advice and i find it so hard knowing she's not there :-(