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Missing my mom ❤︎

Lauralu
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My mom had tonsil cancer 4 years ago. It was very aggressive but was told treatable. She underwent many procedures which resulted in her becoming cancer free for nearly 2 years. It was a very hard struggle for her and for us to watch her but she was very brave and never stopped fighting. Unfortunately in September  (on my birthday) I listened to the consultant tell us that my mom's cancer had returned and spread. I don't think it sank in for a while and never thought that true to their word she would be no longer with us 2 months later. The weeks that followed were a blur and can't quite believe she has gone. I have 2 children so I have to function but feel so alone. There are days when the grief is so overwhelming it hurts....

 

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    Dearest Lauralu, 

    I've read your post, feel like I could have written it myself. I'm so sorry for your loss, I understand fully as I lost my Mum in September and I also have 2 children that still need me to function. All I'll say is be kind to yourself. Grief is overwhelming, but we have to go through it. A wise lady told me that grief is an extension of love. You clearly love your Mum to bits and rightly so. How old are your children? Mine are 4 and 1 and having lots of questions from the 4yr old about it all. Hard to know what to say x Please message me on here, hoping we can support

    each other through this x 

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    Hi LauraLu I totally feel the same. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer 2 years ago and was treated with hormone tablets which we thought was working, then in August she was told it had spread to her bones. At this point they tried chemo but after one session she was taken into hospital with breathing difficulties. In November we were told that they could put her on stronger hormone tablets to help. From then she went downhill pretty quickly and the last few months were awful. From a lady who loved nothing more than walking in the countryside to a lady who struggled round the house with a walking frame. She managed to make it through Christmas and was taken in hospital New Years Day and had pneumonia. She was in for a week, home for a week then got the dreaded phone call from the District Nurse saying she had deteriorated . We had her funeral 2 weeks ago. The last 6 months have been a blur and i feel so lost without my mom. Like you i have 2 young children and find that in a way that helps as you have to be strong for them. I have days when the slightest thing starts me off.............. Someone said to me that grief never goes away, grief is like waves and at first they are huge and come without warning but as time goes on they get smaller and are more manageable ..... but it is just so hard to imagine a life without your mom isn't it. They are always there for a chat, to help , for advice and i find it so hard knowing she's not there :-(
  • Offline in reply to Dawn83

    Dear Dawn83,  

    Thank you for replying to my post. I too am sorry for your loss. My children are older,17 &14 so they understood what was going on. It must be very difficult for you having young children as they have so many questions, I know mine did at that age! From experience, honesty is the best policy. Tell them only as much as they need to know ,simply ,so they understand.

    I didn't live close to my mom, I was about 2.5 hrs drive away so it was very difficult towards the end as it was a very upsetting time and I felt torn between seeing my mom and being there for the children. I am constantly going over the "what ifs" as I feel I wasn't there with her enough towards the end. 

  • Offline in reply to Keara

    Hi Keara, 

    Thanks for replying to my post. It sounds like you have been having an awful time too. There are so many people on here going through similar situations,it is truely heartbreaking. Cancer is such as awful disease.

    Sounds like a good analogy with your wave story. I think mine are still huge and come without warning but hopefully in time they will become more manageable. I forget sometimes and go to pick the phone up to tell her something then I realise she is not there.

    It sounds like your mom put up a good fight just like mine. Let's hope we are just as brave.

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