Hi my dad passed away 3 weeks ago (17th January) at 545am in hospital - his wish was to go home but they couldn't allow him to as he kept getting infections. The funeral was a week ago. I'm returning to work tomorrow after 7 weeks of being off (mix of leave and sick). He had prostate cancer and he lasted just under 12 months after diagnosis. 3 weeks before he died, we took him to hospital as he was deteriorating and we were then told it had spread to his spine, lungs, liver and bowels, and that he had 6 weeks left to live, but he only lasted another 3 weeks. I still feel in shock and my barriers are up, but I know it will properly hit me at some point...........I feel your pain and frustrations. I thought the funeral would've provided me with closure, but in a lot of ways it hasn't. Part of me still feels like it's dream. Maybe returning to work, the routine, the normality may make me realise....who knows. But I know my strong barriers are up and I'm scared of people knocking them down I guess. 

My mom passed away three weeks ago and i'm finding it so difficult not having her around.  I have 2 children who have kept me going, but i feel like i've lost part of me.

Hope things get easier x

I'm sorry to hear that and I'm glad you've got the kids to keep you going. I was straight back to work, it's literally the only routine I have and I struggle to concentrate.. I feel like i've lost a part of me too, she was my best friend and i'm only 27, I feel like i'm too young to have lost my mum.. I feel like she's going to miss so much of my life, i've yet to have children.. Get married.. She'll never see me driving (I took my driving test 2 days after she passed and managed to pass my test)! I just miss her so so much, my heart is completely broken. She suffered so much towards the end of her life and it's just so unfair. 

Hi Missydante, 

So sorry to hear about your mum, I know exactly how you feel my mum was 47 when she passed away 22nd November 2016, of secondary breast cancer. 

I'm 23 and I too feel completely lost without my mum. I find myself becoming jealous of people when I see them out with their mums. I always think why did cancer have to take my lovely mum? 

My partner proposed to me in October and my mum was really looking forward to helping me plan my big day. Unfortunately she never got to help me, she didn't even know when I'd be getting married as we hadn't booked the wedding date yet. 

I was there everyday until the end, the doctors told us that my mum would be lucky to make it through the night if that. She fought until the end 5 days later my mum gained her angel wings and left us, all heartbroken. Like your mum she too suffered until the end of her life. You could see the cancer taken its toll each day, her body all swollen and she was in a coma like state those last few days. That's what hurt me the most, talking to her and getting nothing back. I didn't even know if she could hear me, I'd like to think she could. 

They say it gets easier over time, but I can't see it ever getting easier for me. Everything just reminds me of my mum and I'm constantly upset.