Hi Margandy, I am truly sorry for your loss. Your wife sounded like such a strong woman! She defied the odds and pushed on for two years, that is amazing. I recently lost my dad and my grief is a weird mixture of sadness and relief as he was Battling cancer and dementia. 

I think you've got the right mind set when thinking of how nice it was her your wife to go so suddenly. The beauty of death is that it ends everything for them all the pain and the discomfort is gone. 

You shouldn't feel like a burden at all, your friends and family would of wanted you there. If you feel like you need to talk and can't reach out to family then you've done the right thing coming here. I'm only ever a message away. I hope your pain gets easier with time. Just remember all the happy memories of your wife and know she's at peace now. 

Hi, Thak you for your kind words I guess you too find the nights the worst. I''ve lost my faith in people right now, over 300 people came to her funeral on the 19th about 80 or so back to the house, how many people rang, emailed or called in since then - NONE!

How many invites for a meal? well no communication - no chance of an invite, whinge over!

My father had an expression which I've known to be true and that is " The group or circle you are in well consider that it is your hand stiring round in a bucket of water, withdraw your hand and the hole that remains is the amount you'll be missed" It's a sorry state but once you can accept that then you gain the strength to get on with life, but just at the moment boy do I need a cuddle, arms, the "R" Factor (aaarrrhhh). I miss her cuddles, I miss the chat, I didn't realise just how often i called out "If your going upstairs would you bring me down (what ever it may be). Surprisingly I was always a glass half full man. at them moment the glass is half full of tears. I've got to shake myself out of this. Lesley would expect better of me, tears yes but depression no. thanks for saying I could chat, it's made me feel better.

M

It is a frustrating factor when people swarm around when you first lose someone and then disappear soon after. I think they assume that them paying their respects to the dead is enough, they never consider the living. 

I don't think for a minute that your wife would be disappointed in you. I think she would be disappointed in the people that haven't been there for you. You have every right to feel the way you do, grief is not an easy journey. 

Keep on talking and expressing how you feel. No matter how silly you think you sound or if you think no one cares because someone will always care.