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how to prepare myself?

lauraxx
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Hi,

i'm laura and i'm 14, my mum started going downhill around 6 weeks ago, 2 weeks ago it got to the point where she could barely walk, eat, go up/down stairs, get up off the sofa and when she fell over she couldn't get back up. 2 days ago she got told she had 2 months left at best. me and my dad are relatively strong people, however every night we cry together.. we don't know what to do without mum. she does everything, and she means everything to us. she's the person i tell all my secrets, the person who lets me get all my emotion out, i tell her everything - she's the only person who understands.. it may seem silly to ask, but how can i prepare myself for her death?

thank you..

laura x 

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    Hi Laura,

    i am so sorry you are having to go through this at such a young age. I lost my mum 8 months ago and was similar in that we were told she didn't have long. I, like you, just wanted to do whatever I could to prepare myself. Unfortunately no matter how hard you prepare yourself, it doesn't make it any easier when the times comes. You can sometimes spend too much time trying to prepare yourself for the end and not enough times just being with the person and facing the last months with them. My advice would be just don't focus on the end yet, just be there for her whilst she is still here and spend the last precious months you have with her, talking to her and saying everything you want to say. I thought I had, but there was so much more I wished I'd said to my mum as it all happened quite quickly in the end. Draw strength from your dad as you will be a great comfort to one another when the time comes. Please reach out if you need to talk some more - happy to help if I can. Shelley x

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    Hi Laura, I'm sorry to hear about your mum. I've just gone through the same thing with my father, her passed away yesterday morning. Unfortunately you can't prepare yourself, you can only prepare mum for her journey. Hopefully helping her to become pain free and at peace will help you grieve. You seem very mature and strong for 14, it will be hard but I can promise you will get through it. 

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    Hi I'm Caitlin,

    im 17 and I lost my mum on the 7th of this month. Honestly,you can't really prepare yourself. It will be so hard to deal with for a long time,I'm struggling so much right now but you just have to surround yourself with people that love you. I'm here if you ever need to talk xx look after yourself

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    Hi Laura, I agree with others that you can't really prepare yourself and it can be best to focus on the moment rather than think constantly about the end. Just spending time with your mum and talking to her as much as possible is good. Maybe ask her questions about things, I talked to my dad about some bits of his life I didn't know much about when he was dying. Just to try and fill in blanks so I knew more about his pre-kids days. We also had a few talks about what we wanted to happen when he died, those were awful but they were helpful. That's probably more for your dad though. I'm so sorry you are going through this and when you're so young as well. I hope you can have some good talks with your mum in the coming weeks/months. Tell her you love her a lot. xx

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