Dads Funeral today

Hi all,

i feel it's good to post on a forum where people understand what I am going through. Today I had the funeral for my father. My wedding was last Saturday. Dad joked in a black humour moment that we would have one wedding and a funeral, a bit like that Hugh Grant movie. And so it turned out. 

The funeral was dignified and honoured my father. He was much loved at work evidenced by the number of colleagues who attended. I managed to say a eulogy which was a personal tribute including stories and some memories of Dad. 

Now it's all over I feel a bit numb. The last few weeks when he was in hospital were not good. Seeing him was so upsetting. I can't erase the picture of him lying unconcious in his bed at the end. Once he knew I had gotten married he went to sleep. His heart held on for two more days. Watching him gasping for breath and waiting to see his last breath was desperately sad. 

looking back now he changed the day of his diagnosis. He was an oncologist so he knew he wasn't going to survive. It was too aggressive. 

I miss him so much.

 

 

 

 

  • Hi Mousie,

    It must have been strange for your Dad being both an Oncologist and a Cancer patient. Sometimes ignorance and denial help us through the first stages of coping with a cancer diagnosis.

    Your happier memories of your Dad will eventually return to the front of your mind, but it will take time. I lost my Mum to cancer 8 years ago and for the first few months it was hard to remember her before her diagnosis and her fight with cancer. That has changed now and my memories are mainly of happier times.

    Best wishes

    Dave

  • Hi Mouse,

    Your situation is spot on to mine. Funereal was last Friday for us and also plenty of people there great stories. Now it's like what do I now? And yes the image of him at the end I get that. My dad said he was sorry he couldn't protect me from his cancer so I try hard to think of him when he was well. I have found some old images of him made a copy and uploaded them to an online gallery. Looking back at photos help but is also sad. 

    Having your wedding must of been difficult but he would of wanted you to enjoy it. 

    Have you thought about counselling? I'm not too sure myself. I feel really down but what to look into getting a memory box for him to have at my own house with photos and objects and his handwriting. Maybe you could do this too. All the best and sorry for your lose and your dad.