Hi everyone, I know exactly how ye all feel. I lost my mother a month ago to ovarian cancer at the age of 55, I myself am only 28, I am devastated beyond words. I myself have two kids and I have to be strong for them, other than that I wouldn't know how to go on. Everyday I pick up my phone to ring her and tell her something and then reality hits like a tonne of bricks, yesterday my eldest boy started play school. It was a happy but very emotional day as my mam was so looking forward to seeing him. She cherished my kids. They were her world. We used to talk everyday atleast five times and now its gone to zero. I feel as though my heart is broke in two. I miss her so much. I miss seeing her everyday. I miss every little small thing she did. She was diagnosed in march and passed away in august. She was bed bound. Her life turned upside down in the blink of an eye. It killed me to see her so sick. No one should have to bury their mam in their twenties

My mum died 18 days ago,age 64, and things are very raw. She was fit and well until last month and was diagnosed with cancer on the 1st September 2017 and died 9 days later on the day she was due to go on holiday. I'm not sure how I'm going to cope. Unfortunately we lost our dad eleven years ago when he was 55. I haven't got my head around the diagnosis nevermind the fact she has gone. There's so many times over the last few weeks where I have gone to call her, the latest being this morning. Life is just so unfair at times.

Hi don’t really know where to start as I’ve just typed in way I’m feeling and seen all these posts.i lost my mum in April after a very short battle with cancer.she went to doctor on Christmas Eve with pains in her side and they said it was an infection in the bladder only to find out a few wks later it was stage 4 cancer and probably only had a few months to live.i have an older sister who asked doctor after finding out she had cancer but couldn’t bear to tell my mum.ive got 3 kids girl aged 13 boy at 8 and boy at 18 months and those grandkids were my mums world.its just so I fare as she was the most kind  loving person you could ever meet and would talk to anyone.my dad broke his neck 4 years ago through an accident at work and my mum has cared for him through that difficult time as I also worked with my dad.he eventually got a pay out and they took us all on a big family holiday to Spain and hired a big villa .they should’ve been enjoying life now retired with some money but instead it’s neen taking away.after spending 4 wks in hospital my mum was transferred to a hospice as they have more time to help with the situation.they were amazing with my mum and we were always there.my dad almost stayed every night.near the end was really difficult and my mum passed away when I was there with my wife.after the funeral my gran on my dads side passed away a few wks later .im just trying to be there as much as possible for my dad but think I’m struggling a bit myself sometimes.find myself sitting up later ,drinking more than usual and just feeling empty.its my dads birthday at wkend so hoping for a good time and try and move forward with a positive attitude like my mum would’ve liked 

Hi Fubar,

My amazing Mum only passed away 2 days ago, so what do I know, but I am going off other people's advice and talking to people constantly, which is the only thing that seems to make it a bit more bearable.

I am very sorry to hear about your Mum, it all sounds so sudden and a horrible shock for your whole family. I bet that holiday to Spain was absolutely fantastic and your children will have such lovely memories of your Mum and you can tell them stories about her whenever you like. You sound like an amazing father and son.

I've started a "coping with loss at night" thread for those of us who can't sleep and end up staying up late and feeling even more awful. If you ever want somewhere to vent, I will definitely be on there, I don't really sleep much these days.

Hi fubar1,

Welcome to the forum, so sorry for the loss of your mum and gran. Such a short time ago, I can only imagine how hard that must be. My mum passed away September 2018 from blood cancer; I think the hardest thing you ever have to face, the loss of a parent. You struck a chord when you said your mum would talk to anyone, my mum was the same, she was just lovely.

Some people say time heals, maybe it stops the uncontrollable tears, the panic attacks but you never get over it. My husband says that you have to not be consumed by the grief, I am hoping to get that acceptance stage, the new normal, I am getting there although you could say coming onto the forum again, I'm not quite there yet.

My brother like all of us was devastated but his way of dealing with it, is not to talk about it, I know he would find that too painful.

Our mum's would want us to carry on, as you say, with a positive attitude and not feel the sadness or have that empty feeling, I won't lie, that's harder said than done but that's ok, there are no rules with grief......I have had fun and laughter since...your boy is 8, same age as my great nephew, he makes me smile...but I also have days when it comes over you like a wave and you can't stop it , over time though, I have found you recover more quickly and I talk about my mum in happier times. 

Your dad is lucky to have a wonderful son, as you will do and are doing, supporting each other.....and certainly not my place to say...but maybe the drinking might not really help but just mask your feelings? If not already done so, a visit to your GP or counselling may be worth considering?

In a long-winded way, I just wanted to say, I understand how awful it is, I promise you though, we're stronger than you think....I believe our mum's are around somehow in spirit, willing us to carry on, grieve but not carry the sadness forever.

I hope your journey becomes easier.

Hi fubar1,

Welcome to the forum, so sorry for the loss of your mum and gran. Such a short time ago, I can only imagine how hard that must be. My mum passed away September 2018 from blood cancer; I think the hardest thing you ever have to face, the loss of a parent. You struck a chord when you said your mum would talk to anyone, my mum was the same, she was just lovely.

Some people say time heals, maybe it stops the uncontrollable tears, the panic attacks but you never get over it. My husband says that you have to not be consumed by the grief, I am hoping to get that acceptance stage, the new normal, I am getting there although you could say coming onto the forum again, I'm not quite there yet.

My brother like all of us was devastated but his way of dealing with it, is not to talk about it, I know he would find that too painful.

Our mum's would want us to carry on, as you say, with a positive attitude and not feel the sadness or have that empty feeling, I won't lie, that's harder said than done but that's ok, there are no rules with grief......I have had fun and laughter since...your boy is 8, same age as my great nephew, he makes me smile...but I also have days when it comes over you like a wave and you can't stop it , over time though, I have found you recover more quickly and I talk about my mum in happier times. 

Your dad is lucky to have a wonderful son, as you will do and are doing, supporting each other.....and certainly not my place to say...but maybe the drinking might not really help but just mask your feelings? If not already done so, a visit to your GP or counselling may be worth considering?

In a long-winded way, I just wanted to say, I understand how awful it is, I promise you though, we're stronger than you think....I believe our mum's are around somehow in spirit, willing us to carry on, grieve but not carry the sadness forever.

I hope your journey becomes easier.