Hi,
I am new to this group.
My dad passed away four days ago, Thursday 10th November and I can't get my head around it. It feels so unreal and I can't stop crying. My dad had lung cancer but beat it a few years ago and unfortunately got liver cancer. My dad fought for 10 years with various treatments and doing numerous trials so that he could maybe help someone else down the line with the research from the trials. My dad got told on the 13th October (not even 2 months ago) that they would stop all treatment as he was too weak now and it was doing his body more harm. My dad deteriorated quickly and had to go in to the Marie cutie hospice for a few days but the day he got to come hole my poor mum was advised he would be coming hole to die. I still can't believe I am writing this about MY dad!. He had two days at home with us before e passed which I have now been told was exactly what he wanted, to be home with his family around him. I can't get the pictures and sounds out of my head of my dad looking so fragile and on so many meds and oxygen. He mostly slept but acknowledged all of his immediate family while he was awake for brief periods. We all got to say our good byes, that I will always be grateful of. The moment he passed my mum was cleaning his face with a flannel, that was when he decided he could go. It gives me comfort knowing he chose to go with his best friend, wife and love of his life by his side. He wouldn't have wanted any of his children to have seen it. The funeral is on Wednesday and I really can't cope, I pictures this day for weeks and now it's going to be real. How can we get on without my amazing father, how is my mum going to cope. I just can't stop crying, every day and I know it's so raw right now but life will never be the same again. Thankfully I have a baby who gets me up each morning as well as a caring and supportive husband. I am also still on maternity leave but can't even imagine being ok to go back to work next year. This can't be real, how can he be gone how can I have watched my dad die. I am so so angry.
Sorry for for the long post :(
