Dear Andy, I am so sorry to hear about your mum,  she was obviously a very important part of your life, she sounds like an amazing woman who battled to ensure that you remained strong.  Losing someone so important is not easy, no words can really help, share your memories if you can, with your father it is more likely to help as he is probably trying to stay strong for you too.  I believe in sharing that persons feelings and if that means you both break down in tears, sometimes it may be what you need to do.  My best wishes to you and your family. 

Dear Andy,

It is very early days yet, and of course you are missing your lovely mum so much, but remember that love that you had for your mum is still there that golden thread that joins you together with love will never be broken.  I lost my mum three years ago, but she was very old, but saying that I still missed her so very very much as I was always with her, like a couple of good friends (which we were).  I found after a time although I still missed her (and still do), I could remember and laugh about the good times we spent together.  I know at the moment things seem very very bleak and sad for you, but just remember grief is not for ever, but love is.  Andy I know you have your Dad, and it must be extremely difficult for him also at this time, but I am sure you will both support one another.  You say you are a recluse because of poor health, I do not know how old you are, but that is not healthy for you.  Perhaps later on you could discuss ways with your Dad how you can perhaps get in some local clubs or activitiies.  When we watch the Paralympics we see people who against a lot of adversity manage to lead full active lives.  I am not saying that you feel up to doing anything at the moment, of course not, but perhaps in time.  I am sure once you start to mix and make friends things will start to change for you. 

Your Mum sounded a wonderful person.a lot of people would love to have a mum like you had, treasure those lovely memories, and make sure when you arrange the funeral that you have one of your mums favourite songs played.  My thought and prayers are with you at this very sad time.

Hi Andy so sorry to hear about your mum. It is obviously the most painful thing for you. Hopefully you and your dad will be able to support and help each other during this terrible time, I am so pleased you have him to talk to. You will always look back at the lovely times you had and enjoy their memories, you will always have that. At the moment you are lost and hurting, but it will get better, you will have to be patient, but it will I promise. I have been through something similar, although right now I am sure you don't believe me. When you feel stronger try and get out and about, make yourself walk if nothing else, exercise can help with low mood - I know this for a fact. Your mum would not want you to be unhappy, in fact she would hate the thought of it. So as a tribute to her and to the wonderful life you shared together try and move forward with your life, this is what she would have wanted so try and do it... if not for you then for her. I am sure you have so much going for you but maybe you have lost confidence over the years. Speak to your dad and try and make new resolutions, try to make positive steps to change your life for the better. I am sure you can, you just need a bit of encouragement. There are counsellors who can help you with all this, so ask for help if you need it. You seem to be a lovely young man who has had to the most terrible thing happen, but I am sure you will find a way through. Thinking of you... message me if you want... Gill