Good evening Emily. May I first give my heart to you and your family and say Im deeply sorry for your loss. To answer your question about if it gets easier, it only will if you feel your mind with all those happy memories you shared together, look at photos and have lunch where you both used to go. Celebrate his life not his passing. He is still there with you and always will be guiding you through the rest of your life.

Ian

Hello Emilygrace

I am so sorry for the loss of your husband ...i cant begin to imagine how you must be feeling at the moment .We have just lost my Dad 4 weeks ago from Mesothelioma. My parents were married for 47 years ..together for 50 yrs. Like you my mum is so lost and lonely ..its like half of her is missing..she tries so hard not to be at home a lot because the house seems so empty without him . i could stay with her 24 hrs a day but its not me she wants .its my dad. My mum cannot get over how fast the cancer took him ..he was working and fit and well 6 months ago and now he's gone . we keep going over things in our minds.. talking about what we were doing this time last year and whats happened to us over and over but i think thats our way of coping..but i think as time passes we wont do that so much because they say time is a healer ..well i really do hope so because my heart is broken .i cant imagine being able to remember things about dad without breaking down crying ..i feel like as well as grieving for the loss of my dad i am grieving for what mum has lost too .I feel i need to put my grief to one side when im with her ..probably not the right thing to do but she's my priority .

In time,  weekends wont feel so lonely .you will adjust to a different way of life ....but there is no time limit for this ..only you will know when that time will be..you will find your own way through with the help of your family and friends. 

All we can do is hold onto our wonderful memories we have ..spend time with our loved ones and cherish each day . just like my Dad and your husband  would want us to xx

Hugs to you and your family

sarah x

Yeah weekends are tough aren't they?

I lost my wife just over a year ago we'd been married just under 25 years and I was 51.

Things do get better - that's why I'm on here at the moment to tell people that very thing.

I don't know whether your husband had a long fight or a short one, Melanie had 3 years. They were hard but in some ways it helped give me time to get my head around knowing that I was going to lose her. The first few months were the worst for me but I buried myself in jobs around the house, work, going to the gym. I kept busy and I didn't allow myself time to think about it. No some people will say that's avoidance and you should confront your feelings but they are so overpowering that they'll just suck you under if you let them. Now a year later I can look back at the events of a year ago and confront those feelings and come to terms with it in a way that would have simply been impossible then.

I found people on here a great help in those first months and then I think, I hope, I started to be a help to others. After 6 months I found that actually the forum was holding me back from moving on so stopped posting.

I came back a couple of weeks ago because it was the anniversary and I wanted to tell people that one year on I have really started to rebuild my life and am able to look back with quiet sadness rather than unbearble grief. I wanted to tell people that, yes it does get better.

Be busy, dont allow yourself time to dwell, putting it outside of your mind is in no way unfaithful to his memory, you will be able to look back on all of this in time just not now.

Now you may not heal as quickly as I did. Men tend to do so a bit quicker than women and especially if there has been a long illness. I dont know your situation but I had 3 years to try to get my head around it. Nothing really prepares you but I cannot imagine how hard it must be to lose someone suddenly.

You may not heal as quickly but you will, and hard as it seems right now you will be happy again - it will be a different sort of happy but you will be happy, you will smile and you will laugh again.

I did, so will you