Good evening Emily. May I first give my heart to you and your family and say Im deeply sorry for your loss. To answer your question about if it gets easier, it only will if you feel your mind with all those happy memories you shared together, look at photos and have lunch where you both used to go. Celebrate his life not his passing. He is still there with you and always will be guiding you through the rest of your life.

Ian

Hi all

Emilygrace I am so sorry for your loss. We have just lost my dad a few months ago. I am lucky to have the distraction of my young family but mum finds weekends tough. She tries to keep busy in the week but is really lonely at weekends. Breaks my heart. I live 3.5 hours away and although I try to see her as often as possible I just wish I could pop in and give her a hug and some company every day. Sarah, I could have written your post . My young 72 yo Dad was on holiday in Chile and Argentina in March, diagnosed in May, gone by the 18th July! Can't believe it. I miss him so much. I wish I could fast forward a year to ease the pain. Sending love to you all xx

Yeah weekends are tough aren't they?

I lost my wife just over a year ago we'd been married just under 25 years and I was 51.

Things do get better - that's why I'm on here at the moment to tell people that very thing.

I don't know whether your husband had a long fight or a short one, Melanie had 3 years. They were hard but in some ways it helped give me time to get my head around knowing that I was going to lose her. The first few months were the worst for me but I buried myself in jobs around the house, work, going to the gym. I kept busy and I didn't allow myself time to think about it. No some people will say that's avoidance and you should confront your feelings but they are so overpowering that they'll just suck you under if you let them. Now a year later I can look back at the events of a year ago and confront those feelings and come to terms with it in a way that would have simply been impossible then.

I found people on here a great help in those first months and then I think, I hope, I started to be a help to others. After 6 months I found that actually the forum was holding me back from moving on so stopped posting.

I came back a couple of weeks ago because it was the anniversary and I wanted to tell people that one year on I have really started to rebuild my life and am able to look back with quiet sadness rather than unbearble grief. I wanted to tell people that, yes it does get better.

Be busy, dont allow yourself time to dwell, putting it outside of your mind is in no way unfaithful to his memory, you will be able to look back on all of this in time just not now.

Now you may not heal as quickly as I did. Men tend to do so a bit quicker than women and especially if there has been a long illness. I dont know your situation but I had 3 years to try to get my head around it. Nothing really prepares you but I cannot imagine how hard it must be to lose someone suddenly.

You may not heal as quickly but you will, and hard as it seems right now you will be happy again - it will be a different sort of happy but you will be happy, you will smile and you will laugh again.

I did, so will you