Hi umbrella101, I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your mum. I lost my mum one month today and I miss her so much. I totally feel your pain. I have good days and bad days and am very tearful, but I am trying to remember the good times with mum. It is so hard, as my memories at present are all of her being ill, but I am trying to focus on the earlier memories. I have pictures of her everywhere when she was younger and well and it does help. I talk to mum every day and tell her how much I love her. When my mum passed, she was at peace, and for that I will always be so grateful, after the years of pain she endured. Try to think your mum was the same. Try to keep busy, I do a lot of riding and being out on my horses helps me focus and I have to look after them so it gives me a reason to get up every day, though some days I just want to stay in bed and not face the world, though my horses need care and love so they make me do it! Please take care of yourself and eat well and get plenty of rest, I know everyone says it, I have been told countless times in the last month, however my mum wouldn't want me to give up, I owe her that much. Thinking of you, stay strong.