Hi tish1576 I'm sorry for you loss it's so hard losing someone to cancer everyone feels and copes different. It's easy for anyone to tell you why you feeling the way you do if they haven been situation like you then they don't know what they talking about. There loads information on this site and there phone numbers as well if you just need to talk to someone.it do help being on here because there different people who been in silmer situation as you so don't feel alone.it do help to write down just how you feel or been though there always someone on here will answer or if just want chat. Take care. 

Really sorry for your lost...

For me, everytime I feel disappointed, confuse, angry, depress, directionless, i run... i run like that Forrest Gump guy... run without thinking anything... run til i get so exhausted I pretty much crawled way back home. It helps me lose up all those energies and feelings. Helps me in my introspection.

I also have this philosophy about life as being a journey. Someone we know and loved will finished their journey earlier than we are, and those who are left behind will still have to find out where their own journey will take them.

In the end will all return back home, back to where we all truly belongs.

I lost my husband 12 weeks ago and it is so hard feel so lost.we didn't even know he had cancer was told in June and past away in July only six weeks.I too am struggling was married 28 years and u miss them like mad.I can't get over that I can never see him or speak to him again.I really feel your pain it's a horrible feeling.I'm having tablets to help me cus I suffer from crohns disease and Tring to keel that under control.life is cruel.take care x